Bad Advice pt 2: Domme Attitude

Being a 'Domme" does not mean that I stop being ME.

Being a ‘Domme” does not mean that I stop being ME.

Pressure is all around us; the pressure to have a ‘good’ job, the pressure to have ‘good’ relationships, the pressure to look ‘good’ weighs heavily on our shoulders in modern day society. And sometimes, it feels like women getting into FemDom, are jumping out of one pool of social pressure and right into another one.

I’ve seen this happen a lot to women that don’t understand FemDom, because they believe that in order to be the dominant partner in a relationship, they need to have a certain attitude. In modern society, a woman who takes charge is sometimes called bossy, controlling, or even ‘bitchy’. Most woman correlate having this attitude with being a dominant woman and they will believe that they cannot be dominant without being mean.

This is the thought frame especially with women that are introduced to FemDom by their partners. When their partner says that he wants her to dominate him, she hears that he wants her to be brutal and cruel to him. This is sometimes what the man wants, but most of the time, it is not what he means. The problem is, most women are unable to imagine being dominant and keeping their same personality, but it is possible.

It is possible to behave like you normally behave and only be controlling in time frames that you know you can handle. And it is also possible to not really change at all. This post will be a contrast to all of the bad advice out there and it will be prof that you can keep your same personality and be dominant.

Your personality might be sweet.lolita couple

That’s completely okay! Don’t be mean just because you think that it is what you are supposed to do. You can be sweet and kind to everyone around you. You can also be firm with your instruction and feminine while putting him in his place where he so desperately wants to be.

You may be the quiet type.malaysian_fashion

That’s fine too. I’ve seen so many women try and pretend to be obnoxious and bossy because that is what they think it means to be dominant. And for so many, this is just not their personality. 

When you pretend to be something you are not, it makes you hate your self, it makes you feel as if the only way you can fulfill your desires is to turn into something that you do not want to be. Being dominant does not have as many rules as you may think. 

You should be a bit more demanding, but whether that means that you are loud and obnoxious or quiet and seductive is your choice. You should take control of your relationship, but whether that makes you mean and ‘bitchy’ or sweet and confident is also your choice.

It’s always your choice. You are the dominant one after all.

–Miss Ari ^_^

3 thoughts on “Bad Advice pt 2: Domme Attitude

  1. writingthebody says:

    This is really, really wise advice. I am a sub/masochist type, and thought that all I needed was meanness and humiliation etc, but in fact, it is being looked after, being dominated in a true way, being cared for in fact that I and I suspect a lot of people need – yes, we are needy, and above all a need for us to find someone worth submitting to. Whether in an LTR, or just on occasion. thanks.

    • You are welcome and I commend you on finding out what true domination is. It is always difficult to find what you think you need and then to find out that what you really need is just a little bit different than what you thought.
      –Miss Ari^_^

      • writingthebody says:

        Thank you for that compliment…coming from your position where you see what we subs are like, it means a lot.

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