Spanking Therapy Interview

A while ago, I posted that I started offering Disciplinarian services in North Carolina and surrounding areas. A lot of you have been asking so many questions about why? and How? and What? You can read my FAQ section on my new website here.

If you want an in depth look into my Holistic Discipline methods, take a look at the interview I did over at SomeonesGonnaGetIt.WordPress.com

Here’s a quick preview…..

I went a little overboard, which you all know I do at times, and asked a ton of questions. Very compelling woman and interview. Hope you all enjoy Ms. Ari.

Hi Ari! You found a love of spanking at a very early age, didn’t you?

Yes, I sure did. But it was something that I did suppress for a long while.

Is it true your mom walked in on you spanking all of your dolls?

Yes, that is completely true!

 

She didn’t think it was odd?

I think she thought it was more entertaining/adorable than anything else.

 

I agree with her. Were you spanked growing up?

I did not grow up in a house hold of spankings or any other corporal punishment method.

 

Do you think kids should be?

When it comes to children, I think it depends on the child. Not every kid is at the same cognitive or emotional level and it can be damaging if they are physically punished and they can’t comprehend why. They could start to believe that bad things happen to them no matter what they do and develop a victim mentality. (I won’t go into too much detail, even though I definitely could, lol). I’m not saying it shouldn’t be used as a tool; but I am saying it should never be done out of anger or revenge, and it should only occur if the child has the personality where it would benefit them. Just pay close attention to how it affects them.

 

Did you play any spanking games with your friends?

Actually, yes. I used to playfully spank some of my college roommates.

 

I was thinking when you were younger, but that’s more thrilling. Do you remember the first time you gave someone a spanking?

The first person I gave a REAL discipline spanking to happens to be my husband when we first met.

Keep reading Here

 

 

–Miss Ari ^_^

Black and white ~ Third date

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Tonight is your third date with the woman you met online. She says that this is the night that she lets you come back to her apartment.

If you thought she was confident before, dominant before, if you thought that she had you in the palm of her hand before, just wait until tonight.

Because up until now, she was being nice.

You never thought you’d meet someone who brought you to your knees that way she will, or someone that brakes you in a delicious way and then builds you back up to be even better.

But what’s more, you never thought that you’d like it.

 

—Miss Ari ^_^

HolisticDiscipline.com

I’m Back

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That’s right. I’m back from a hiatus… A looooong hiatus. I can’t believe that it has really been two years since my last post. I didn’t necessarily intend for that to happen. Never the less, I do have a couple of updates and announcements.

1) I’ll be continuing my “Black and White” series trying to post weekly.

2) I’ve been busy writing some erotica and publishing them on Amazon Kindle. I’ve started to add the titles to my Books Worth Reading page. Go check it out

3) I’ve also started offering services as a professional disciplinarian. Find out what that means and how it could benefit you at my other website here holisticdiscipline.com

4) If you want to get in touch with me from now on, you might get a faster response from my new email address on my about page

That’s all for now,

Welcome me back with a comment below.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Black and White ~ Ready

You knew I liked leather. Now, I think that’s what attracted you to me in the first place. You thought I wasn’t like the average woman and maybe, just maybe, I’d be open to those things you think about when you’re all alone at night.

Last month when you finally confessed all your dirty little secrets to me, I was a bit taken aback. But I meant it when I said I would think about it, and I have. Now I’ve been doing some internet research, and I’ve been finding out what all of your desires really entail. I’m not sure how many of them I’ll actually like. But I’m interested enough to give it all a try.

This collar is the first of many things I’ll be buying for our exploration. I’m ready. Are you?

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This is your last chance. If you’re really up to this, then crawl toward me and submit to my will. Go on and take a few minutes to decide. I don’t want you trying to change your mind later.

–Miss Ari ^_^

 

Black and White ~ Punishment

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Darling, if you didn’t know what to say you should have asked or not said anything at all. I get that you’re nervous to be at this party with such a beautiful woman like me but do not embarrass me in front of my friends again! Now when we get back out there, I want you as charming as ever or you won’t be allowed to worship my feet tonight. Got it?

Yes Ma’am.

Good boy.

Black and White ~ Practice

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That’s a good boy. Spread your knees a little wider now… Perfect! Now you know the rules. Stay just the way I put you while I try out our new toy and don’t you move an inch until I tell you to.

Form practice is very important to your learning process, darling. And it will be done on a regular basis.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Black and White ~ Discipline

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She really wasn’t kidding when she said that she was going to get serious about his discipline. He was sure that she would be in a good mood today. She went to that fancy brunch with her friends that she’d been talking about all week. And he supposed that she was still in a good mood and yet she didn’t hesitate assign him a punishment.

She said they would still have their play time later that day. And that of course the punishment wouldn’t wait. She said he needed this and he deserved this.

He hung his head and entered the room thinking that the weight of her gaze would crush him into dust.

He should have just done his chores like he was supposed to.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Black and White ~ 1

22115f0a5aec6769d57e71c4cfd776d8 I know I haven’t been here lately. I’ve been over here a lot. But I’m not gone! And, in an attempt to get back on a schedule, I’ll be posting a black and white FemDom photo about every Friday accompanied by my comments or perhaps a poem. There’s something just so alluring about a black and white photo especially one as powerful as this. Beautiful legs just perfect for hosiery and an obedient boy at her feet, right where he belongs.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Be Careful What You Wish For (Short Fiction)

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I watched his face carefully. His eyes were closed tightly and his breathing was labored but he remaining as still as he could. I knew he expected more, but I also suspected that he would not be able to handle any more. I rubbed my hand over his red flesh and he flinched for the first time.

“That’s enough.” I said softly. This wasn’t a punishment, after all. This was only to show him what would happen if he were to disobey me.

He looked up at me confused for a moment.

“That’s all for today. You took more than I thought you would. Were you counting?”

He nodded slowly.

“How many?”

He thought for a moment, then he took a breath. “Twenty-two?”

“Is that a question?”

“No. It… it was twenty-two.”

I sat my implement down and walked around him slowly. “Are you sure? It wasn’t Twenty-four? What about twenty-one?” I could see him hesitate for a moment.

“Umm…”

“Maybe we should start over? Then you can count again. Do you want to change your answer?”

“No, Ma’am. It was twenty-two.”

I smiled at him. “Very good.”

I stepped back until my legs touched the edge of the bed and I sat. “Come here.” I curled my finger at him.

He got to his knees slowly and crawled over to me. I received him taking his face into my hands and pulling closer kissing him deeply.

I broke the kiss.

“Yes.” He whispered.

“Yes, What?”

“Yes I still want to belong to you.”

I smiled. “I wasn’t going to ask.” I said. “I’ve asked you enough and I believe you now. I’m deciding for myself that you belong to me and there’s no going back. You know that don’t you? You’ll never be the same again. I own you totally and completely; every part of you is mine now.”

“Yes, Ma’am. Of course, Ma’am.”

“Do you like belonging to me?”

“Yes, Ma’am. It feels so good to belong to you. I wish to never leave your side.”

I smiled that sadistic smile that he loved. “Be careful what you wish for.”

–Miss Ari ^_^

 

P.S. I’ve recently created a second blog where I’ll be posting more personal stories and fun happenings from my current relationship: Here.

Q & A: How Do I Punish Him When He Enjoys Spanking?

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No I don’t believe you have forgotten your place. You just need a reminder.

I can tell you right off the bat that so many women worry needlessly about this sort of thing.

The first thing we have to think about is that regardless of whether or not someone enjoys spanking, it is still corporal punishment. A spanking, to a submissive man that enjoys it, still serves the purpose of reinforcing the dynamic of the relationship. It helps the Dominant to feel dominant and it helps the submissive to feel submissive to the Dominant. Even if he were to beg you for it and thank you for it afterward, it still has aspects of humiliation to it.

A masochist still feels pain and through receiving pain form their Dominant, they can reenter a submissive mind frame. In this case, corporal punishment can still serve as a corrective tool for slipping behaviors.

But let’s back track for a moment, because not all submissive are like this. In fact, most men that enjoy spanking enjoy it in a sensual sense. It is a level where it is still painful but not to a level that they would deem “too painful”. If you are seeking to use spankings as a punishment for this type of man, you need only step it up a notch. And this can be in intensity or in the implement that you choose. For instance, a man may enjoy being paddled, but would try to avoid the strap or the PVC tube at all costs.

Only if your skepticism still stands at this point, would I suggest that you start getting creative. There are, of course, other ways to discipline your submissive man including giving him rigorous physical tasks, chores and errands, or humiliation methods such as the many variations of corner time.

All other complications aside, it does come down to how you feel about it. If you don’t like the idea of spanking him to a point where he sees it as punishment, then you should turn to other methods. With whatever method you choose, your confidence must not wane. If think it will be effective, then it will.

Thanks for the question

–Miss Ari ^_^

Power Dynamic

I haven’t had the pleasure of knowing a woman that is in a female led relationship that was initiated by the male; however, from what i have heard, it is difficult for these women to come to terms with the new power dynamic.

The power dynamic is the basis of all femdom relationships but as the dominant woman, I decide the degree of of my power. A high power dynamic would include the woman making all decisions and the male not being allowed to decide anything. A low power dynamic would include decisions being made as a couple with the woman having the final say in everything. I personally favor a dynamic where the woman has all power of decision but the male has power of suggestion. Each of these dynamics are female led and it is the woman’s decision how the power dynamic will be displayed.

Regardless of the preferred dynamic, the important part is how you acquire that power. Even if the male offers you power over himself, you are still not in control until you decide that you are.

Now, no woman should feel like she must act manly to be in charge. There is no need for that. In fact, correctly harnessed female power is far more powerful than trying to be something that you are not.

There can and should be femininity in the way that you command. After all, it is the appeal anyway. Females gentleness should not be taken for weakness. However, it should still exist in a relationship along with every bit of firmness that she possesses.

–Miss Ari ^_^

The Hardest Part About This Blog

Class is not restricted by age.

Class is not restricted by age.

By far the pictures. I often find it difficult to find a picture depicting both elegance and female power. Most of the FemDom photos that can be found are vulgar to say the least. And a fair amount of picture of women in hosiery are of the same context. I need pictures that depict that hosiery is sexy, yes, but I also need pictures that do not make it seem sleazy.

This blog is restricted to the pictures of poise; of confident woman that know how to handle themselves in a manner that exceeds outsider opinions.

This is not something that I will settle on. I will not give in to something that is just okay. I will scavenge for the strong and accurate pictures. These days, we could use more determination in our lives even if we only start with something that may seem small.

I am not afraid to go first. I choose photos of the gentle prowess of the dominant woman and the men who love them.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Is it wrong?

Wrong? Don't be silly, darling. Does this feel wrong to you?

Wrong? Don’t be silly, darling. Does this feel wrong to you?

Well, what do you think? Because a majority of the people that ask this are not asking whether it is really wrong, but they are asking what they should think. They do not think it is wrong but society tells them that they should.

I don’t blame them for being skeptical. Skepticism is a critical part of surviving. So maybe, by popular definition it is weird. Maybe it doesn’t fit in too well; maybe it’s wrong, but it feels so good doesn’t it?

Your body screams for my dominance.
Your skin craves my caress.
Your heart yearns to be enveloped in the sound of my voice, no matter what the command.
Your very bones tremble as I leave.
Your mind surrendered long ago.
But it doesn’t matter because you trust me to think for you when you cannot think for yourself.

It is not ignorance that you live in. It’s not power craze that fuels me.
It is our essences folding together where they belong.
Your submission is bliss.

And at the end of the day, if we are apart, we are still together. Aren’t we?

You can still feel my hand entwined in your hair.

Is that wrong?

I don’t think so.

 

–Miss Ari ^_^

Disagreements in a FemDom relationship

Of course I will listen to your opinions. And of course I will have the final word

Of course I will listen to your opinions. And of course I will have the final word

It is my belief that in any healthy relationship, regardless of the power distribution, there should be no fights.

Disagreements, however, will always happen whether you want them to or not. One person may want one thing and the other person may want something different. Obvious solutions to disagreements are a lot of communication and compromise.

But how is this situation tackled in a relationship where there is power imbalance? What if the woman has final say in the decisions of a relationship? Wouldn’t that create a conflict?
The answer is no. In a FemDom relationship, compromise carries a different meaning. It is no longer, both parties attempting an equal sacrifice. It is now the dominant partners’ decision whether or not to implement the submissive wishes, and the submissive knowing that she has the option not to.

Any responsible Domme seeks knowledge about her submissive and takes it into consideration when making decisions. If not, bad things can happen.

A certain presentation of FemDom depicts the male’s presence making no changes to her decisions. This is unrealistic. Things like health and psychological strength have to be taken into account.

It may sound like a lot of pressure is being put on the dominant woman, and it probably is. It’s no secret that being dominant comes with responsibility. Conflicts should be tackled assuming that sort of responsibility.

A prime example is a dominant woman wanting to do a certain activity and the submissive not wanting this activity. The ultimate question is whether to push the submissive boundaries.

This can be looked at two ways. The first way is assuming that the submissive is apprehensive but is willing to accept her help and guidance into the new territory. This is ideal. In this case, the submissive should be pushed slightly to promote the growth of the relationship.

The second situation is if the submissive is unwilling to be pushed. In this case, the submissive will usually react with anger or resentment. These are the markings of a corrupt relationship. Pushing this type of submissive would cause more problems and not pushing this type of submissive would be a mockery of a FemDom relationship.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Thank you for all of the post requests I have gotten so far. If you’d like recognition for something you have requested, I am willing upon request.

What’s Wrong With Submissive men?

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Good boy.

One of the big arguments that I have come across does not even come from the male perspective. It comes from the females. Women will often complain that they do not want FemDom because they do not wish to mother their men.

This is a complaint that comes from uninformed individuals. Aside from cases where a man would have an actual or unhealthy attraction to his mother, such a thing should not be a cause for concern.

First of all, you will never be his mother. It is impossible and he knows this as well. Such a concern is not justified to belong toward FemDom. A mother will typically care for, discipline, as well as do things for the child. The mothers does this for the child simply because he will not be able to care for himself otherwise. FemDom is not meant to mimic this. FemDom is based off of a certain level of stratification that places the supportive role on the male. A submissive man will not want to be tucked in, spoon fed, and pampered like an infant. He will want to be lead firmly and lovingly so that he can be at his best as an adult, not a child.

Second, any feelings that he may have toward women being in charge are natural. They do not hinder his ability to be what you want him to be as well. He may be tall, strong, reliable, and providing. He will have the capabilities as the “regular man” desired by these opposing women. The only difference is that he will want to be able to come home and know exactly how he should resent himself for your approval.

He will want to know how to avoid your anger and exactly how to apologize for transgression.

He will want you, in all of your strengths and weaknesses.

He will want to learn your desires and your rejections.

He will want to be his best for you.

So, tell me. What is wrong with submissive men?

–Miss Ari ^_^

What Your Fears Are To Me

They are real despite what others might think.

They are thing I may not ever fear for myself, just as my fears are to you.

They can be lethal to our relationship if not handled properly.

They are nothing to be ashamed of;

nothing to hide from.

Your fears are bigger than I think they are;

and they are smaller than you think they are.

Your fears are a story written by your past;

and yet a path to a better future.

Your fears will bring us closer together.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Forgive yourself for me.

Forgive yourself for me.

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Poisonous Perfection

whip your life-oooooI’ve come across a few blogs by now with similar themes and I hope that mine is not interpreted as being a part of them.

Femdom is not an excuse to suggest that a woman or women in general are perfect. It is arguable that Femdom is a confidence booster but it certainly does not imply perfection.

Using the term Goddess, for example, is good in theory (if you are into that sort of thing) but should be used as a stage name. It should be understood that the “Goddess” is in fact not perfect. She can still fail. she can still make mistakes, over look details, and make misjudgments. Because at the end of the day, she is no ones Goddess but his. To all others, she may not be ordinary, but she is still human.

Similarly, is the idea of hosiery bringing an illusion of flawlessness. But an illusion is still an illusion. Skin may not be that soft, shiny, tan, or seemless when they are shed of their beautiful covering. I dont have to explain WHY I like hosiery. But I suppose I do have to explain that to me, it is not meant to be rid of flaw completely.

Perfection poisons the mind and take the form of rose colored GLASSES. It shocks everyone when they find out that this perfect person is prone to mistake. It devistates the mind of someone who thinks they cannot fail when, one day, they do not know what to do in a certain situation.

Such a poison hinders the ability to appologize for things like this. Something as simple as appologizing to a significant other becomes impossible because he is seen as beneath you in stature. A lot of these people would be surprised to see the reaction they would get after a simple appology. It shouldn’t be disgust or shame or loss of love. It should be respect for someone brave enough to know that they are not perfect.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Is Consistency in Training a Good Thing? Q and A.

Pay very close attention my darling. You must remember the rules... just incase I forget :p

Pay very close attention my darling. You must remember the rules… just incase I forget :p

Consistency. Is it a got thing or a bad thing?
Well, it depends; not on the person or the relationship; but simply how you think of consistency.
To some people, consistency in a relationship means that the relationship stays the same. The couple engages in the same activities as they did before. In this sense, no it is not a good thing. It is a bad thing to make a relationship into a routine.

But…

If we think of consistency as allowing solid expectations for behavior and holding him accountable to them, then YES. Consistency is imperitive.

“But what about keeping him on his toes?” You may ask.

Keeping him on his toes means that at no point will she tolerate a period of downtime in which he is allowed to be overtly disobedient.

“So no down time then?”

Down time doesn’t mean disobedience. It is important to be able to share each others company in a relaxed environment among others, but it is even more important to stay comfortable in your roles.

To a certain degree, you cannot change your expectation of his role daily. You will make him confused. But one of the hardest things to remember is that you have to teach him to like more than just your persona if the relationship is going to last.

It feels good to be back in America. I think the hardest part will be getting started with the blog again. Any requests?

misshosieryfetish@yahoo.com

–MIss Ari ^_^

What Kind of Sexy?

"Compared to others, I make sexy appear effortless. But in truth, everyone else is trying too hard anyway."

“Compared to others, I make sexy appear effortless. But in truth, everyone else is trying too hard anyway.”

In most western societies, young girls are taught that a good girl does not “act sexy”. This seems as if it would be a simple enough concept but things were still a tad confusing for me.

I am sure that I was not alone in wondering why “looking sexy” was so important when you were not allowed to act it. Upon questioning my mother about the topic she laughed softly and said. “Real women don’t act sexy. They ARE sexy.” (My mother was notorious for not explaining what she meant).

Now I was thoroughly confused. Not only was society giving me a double standard, but the person that I went to on order to clear things up, did not use the terminology the same way as mass media did. However, it took a few years before I was able to realize this.

What MaMa was saying, was that sexy is a product of mind frame and behavior. When a woman ACTS in a self loving and confident manner, then she IS sexy. When she has knowledge of how her body effects men, and can still ACT conservative or respectfully, then she IS sexy. This type of sexy is based on respect that can be acquired when a woman can behave a certain way along with her physically attractive features.

Now armed with a conclusion of what she meant, I came to the realization that the “popular sexy” attempted to skip the things that come before sexy. In this way, sexy means being promiscuous and dressing to reveal as much as possible.

Most women, if critiqued, will argue that this second kind of sexy is the only way to get a mans attention. (I always find it humorous when people argue my point for me.)

You see, the second kind of sexy may attract a mans attention, but that is all that it will attract. It will not attract his respect, admiration, or desire to please you. It will only attract a fleeting infatuation that will leave you in the same position that you began with.

It is acceptable to feel that you are sexy, and know that you are sexy, and even to act sexy. In simply depends on what kind of sexy.

–Miss Ari ^_^