I’m Back

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That’s right. I’m back from a hiatus… A looooong hiatus. I can’t believe that it has really been two years since my last post. I didn’t necessarily intend for that to happen. Never the less, I do have a couple of updates and announcements.

1) I’ll be continuing my “Black and White” series trying to post weekly.

2) I’ve been busy writing some erotica and publishing them on Amazon Kindle. I’ve started to add the titles to my Books Worth Reading page. Go check it out

3) I’ve also started offering services as a professional disciplinarian. Find out what that means and how it could benefit you at my other website here holisticdiscipline.com

4) If you want to get in touch with me from now on, you might get a faster response from my new email address on my about page

That’s all for now,

Welcome me back with a comment below.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Black and White ~ Ready

You knew I liked leather. Now, I think that’s what attracted you to me in the first place. You thought I wasn’t like the average woman and maybe, just maybe, I’d be open to those things you think about when you’re all alone at night.

Last month when you finally confessed all your dirty little secrets to me, I was a bit taken aback. But I meant it when I said I would think about it, and I have. Now I’ve been doing some internet research, and I’ve been finding out what all of your desires really entail. I’m not sure how many of them I’ll actually like. But I’m interested enough to give it all a try.

This collar is the first of many things I’ll be buying for our exploration. I’m ready. Are you?

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This is your last chance. If you’re really up to this, then crawl toward me and submit to my will. Go on and take a few minutes to decide. I don’t want you trying to change your mind later.

–Miss Ari ^_^

 

Black and White ~ Punishment

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Darling, if you didn’t know what to say you should have asked or not said anything at all. I get that you’re nervous to be at this party with such a beautiful woman like me but do not embarrass me in front of my friends again! Now when we get back out there, I want you as charming as ever or you won’t be allowed to worship my feet tonight. Got it?

Yes Ma’am.

Good boy.

Black and White ~ Discipline

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She really wasn’t kidding when she said that she was going to get serious about his discipline. He was sure that she would be in a good mood today. She went to that fancy brunch with her friends that she’d been talking about all week. And he supposed that she was still in a good mood and yet she didn’t hesitate assign him a punishment.

She said they would still have their play time later that day. And that of course the punishment wouldn’t wait. She said he needed this and he deserved this.

He hung his head and entered the room thinking that the weight of her gaze would crush him into dust.

He should have just done his chores like he was supposed to.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Black and White ~ 1

22115f0a5aec6769d57e71c4cfd776d8 I know I haven’t been here lately. I’ve been over here a lot. But I’m not gone! And, in an attempt to get back on a schedule, I’ll be posting a black and white FemDom photo about every Friday accompanied by my comments or perhaps a poem. There’s something just so alluring about a black and white photo especially one as powerful as this. Beautiful legs just perfect for hosiery and an obedient boy at her feet, right where he belongs.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Q & A: How Do I Punish Him When He Enjoys Spanking?

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No I don’t believe you have forgotten your place. You just need a reminder.

I can tell you right off the bat that so many women worry needlessly about this sort of thing.

The first thing we have to think about is that regardless of whether or not someone enjoys spanking, it is still corporal punishment. A spanking, to a submissive man that enjoys it, still serves the purpose of reinforcing the dynamic of the relationship. It helps the Dominant to feel dominant and it helps the submissive to feel submissive to the Dominant. Even if he were to beg you for it and thank you for it afterward, it still has aspects of humiliation to it.

A masochist still feels pain and through receiving pain form their Dominant, they can reenter a submissive mind frame. In this case, corporal punishment can still serve as a corrective tool for slipping behaviors.

But let’s back track for a moment, because not all submissive are like this. In fact, most men that enjoy spanking enjoy it in a sensual sense. It is a level where it is still painful but not to a level that they would deem “too painful”. If you are seeking to use spankings as a punishment for this type of man, you need only step it up a notch. And this can be in intensity or in the implement that you choose. For instance, a man may enjoy being paddled, but would try to avoid the strap or the PVC tube at all costs.

Only if your skepticism still stands at this point, would I suggest that you start getting creative. There are, of course, other ways to discipline your submissive man including giving him rigorous physical tasks, chores and errands, or humiliation methods such as the many variations of corner time.

All other complications aside, it does come down to how you feel about it. If you don’t like the idea of spanking him to a point where he sees it as punishment, then you should turn to other methods. With whatever method you choose, your confidence must not wane. If think it will be effective, then it will.

Thanks for the question

–Miss Ari ^_^

Power Dynamic

I haven’t had the pleasure of knowing a woman that is in a female led relationship that was initiated by the male; however, from what i have heard, it is difficult for these women to come to terms with the new power dynamic.

The power dynamic is the basis of all femdom relationships but as the dominant woman, I decide the degree of of my power. A high power dynamic would include the woman making all decisions and the male not being allowed to decide anything. A low power dynamic would include decisions being made as a couple with the woman having the final say in everything. I personally favor a dynamic where the woman has all power of decision but the male has power of suggestion. Each of these dynamics are female led and it is the woman’s decision how the power dynamic will be displayed.

Regardless of the preferred dynamic, the important part is how you acquire that power. Even if the male offers you power over himself, you are still not in control until you decide that you are.

Now, no woman should feel like she must act manly to be in charge. There is no need for that. In fact, correctly harnessed female power is far more powerful than trying to be something that you are not.

There can and should be femininity in the way that you command. After all, it is the appeal anyway. Females gentleness should not be taken for weakness. However, it should still exist in a relationship along with every bit of firmness that she possesses.

–Miss Ari ^_^

The Hardest Part About This Blog

Class is not restricted by age.

Class is not restricted by age.

By far the pictures. I often find it difficult to find a picture depicting both elegance and female power. Most of the FemDom photos that can be found are vulgar to say the least. And a fair amount of picture of women in hosiery are of the same context. I need pictures that depict that hosiery is sexy, yes, but I also need pictures that do not make it seem sleazy.

This blog is restricted to the pictures of poise; of confident woman that know how to handle themselves in a manner that exceeds outsider opinions.

This is not something that I will settle on. I will not give in to something that is just okay. I will scavenge for the strong and accurate pictures. These days, we could use more determination in our lives even if we only start with something that may seem small.

I am not afraid to go first. I choose photos of the gentle prowess of the dominant woman and the men who love them.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Is it wrong?

Wrong? Don't be silly, darling. Does this feel wrong to you?

Wrong? Don’t be silly, darling. Does this feel wrong to you?

Well, what do you think? Because a majority of the people that ask this are not asking whether it is really wrong, but they are asking what they should think. They do not think it is wrong but society tells them that they should.

I don’t blame them for being skeptical. Skepticism is a critical part of surviving. So maybe, by popular definition it is weird. Maybe it doesn’t fit in too well; maybe it’s wrong, but it feels so good doesn’t it?

Your body screams for my dominance.
Your skin craves my caress.
Your heart yearns to be enveloped in the sound of my voice, no matter what the command.
Your very bones tremble as I leave.
Your mind surrendered long ago.
But it doesn’t matter because you trust me to think for you when you cannot think for yourself.

It is not ignorance that you live in. It’s not power craze that fuels me.
It is our essences folding together where they belong.
Your submission is bliss.

And at the end of the day, if we are apart, we are still together. Aren’t we?

You can still feel my hand entwined in your hair.

Is that wrong?

I don’t think so.

 

–Miss Ari ^_^

What’s Wrong With Submissive men?

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Good boy.

One of the big arguments that I have come across does not even come from the male perspective. It comes from the females. Women will often complain that they do not want FemDom because they do not wish to mother their men.

This is a complaint that comes from uninformed individuals. Aside from cases where a man would have an actual or unhealthy attraction to his mother, such a thing should not be a cause for concern.

First of all, you will never be his mother. It is impossible and he knows this as well. Such a concern is not justified to belong toward FemDom. A mother will typically care for, discipline, as well as do things for the child. The mothers does this for the child simply because he will not be able to care for himself otherwise. FemDom is not meant to mimic this. FemDom is based off of a certain level of stratification that places the supportive role on the male. A submissive man will not want to be tucked in, spoon fed, and pampered like an infant. He will want to be lead firmly and lovingly so that he can be at his best as an adult, not a child.

Second, any feelings that he may have toward women being in charge are natural. They do not hinder his ability to be what you want him to be as well. He may be tall, strong, reliable, and providing. He will have the capabilities as the “regular man” desired by these opposing women. The only difference is that he will want to be able to come home and know exactly how he should resent himself for your approval.

He will want to know how to avoid your anger and exactly how to apologize for transgression.

He will want you, in all of your strengths and weaknesses.

He will want to learn your desires and your rejections.

He will want to be his best for you.

So, tell me. What is wrong with submissive men?

–Miss Ari ^_^

Poisonous Perfection

whip your life-oooooI’ve come across a few blogs by now with similar themes and I hope that mine is not interpreted as being a part of them.

Femdom is not an excuse to suggest that a woman or women in general are perfect. It is arguable that Femdom is a confidence booster but it certainly does not imply perfection.

Using the term Goddess, for example, is good in theory (if you are into that sort of thing) but should be used as a stage name. It should be understood that the “Goddess” is in fact not perfect. She can still fail. she can still make mistakes, over look details, and make misjudgments. Because at the end of the day, she is no ones Goddess but his. To all others, she may not be ordinary, but she is still human.

Similarly, is the idea of hosiery bringing an illusion of flawlessness. But an illusion is still an illusion. Skin may not be that soft, shiny, tan, or seemless when they are shed of their beautiful covering. I dont have to explain WHY I like hosiery. But I suppose I do have to explain that to me, it is not meant to be rid of flaw completely.

Perfection poisons the mind and take the form of rose colored GLASSES. It shocks everyone when they find out that this perfect person is prone to mistake. It devistates the mind of someone who thinks they cannot fail when, one day, they do not know what to do in a certain situation.

Such a poison hinders the ability to appologize for things like this. Something as simple as appologizing to a significant other becomes impossible because he is seen as beneath you in stature. A lot of these people would be surprised to see the reaction they would get after a simple appology. It shouldn’t be disgust or shame or loss of love. It should be respect for someone brave enough to know that they are not perfect.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Is Consistency in Training a Good Thing? Q and A.

Pay very close attention my darling. You must remember the rules... just incase I forget :p

Pay very close attention my darling. You must remember the rules… just incase I forget :p

Consistency. Is it a got thing or a bad thing?
Well, it depends; not on the person or the relationship; but simply how you think of consistency.
To some people, consistency in a relationship means that the relationship stays the same. The couple engages in the same activities as they did before. In this sense, no it is not a good thing. It is a bad thing to make a relationship into a routine.

But…

If we think of consistency as allowing solid expectations for behavior and holding him accountable to them, then YES. Consistency is imperitive.

“But what about keeping him on his toes?” You may ask.

Keeping him on his toes means that at no point will she tolerate a period of downtime in which he is allowed to be overtly disobedient.

“So no down time then?”

Down time doesn’t mean disobedience. It is important to be able to share each others company in a relaxed environment among others, but it is even more important to stay comfortable in your roles.

To a certain degree, you cannot change your expectation of his role daily. You will make him confused. But one of the hardest things to remember is that you have to teach him to like more than just your persona if the relationship is going to last.

It feels good to be back in America. I think the hardest part will be getting started with the blog again. Any requests?

misshosieryfetish@yahoo.com

–MIss Ari ^_^

What Kind of Sexy?

"Compared to others, I make sexy appear effortless. But in truth, everyone else is trying too hard anyway."

“Compared to others, I make sexy appear effortless. But in truth, everyone else is trying too hard anyway.”

In most western societies, young girls are taught that a good girl does not “act sexy”. This seems as if it would be a simple enough concept but things were still a tad confusing for me.

I am sure that I was not alone in wondering why “looking sexy” was so important when you were not allowed to act it. Upon questioning my mother about the topic she laughed softly and said. “Real women don’t act sexy. They ARE sexy.” (My mother was notorious for not explaining what she meant).

Now I was thoroughly confused. Not only was society giving me a double standard, but the person that I went to on order to clear things up, did not use the terminology the same way as mass media did. However, it took a few years before I was able to realize this.

What MaMa was saying, was that sexy is a product of mind frame and behavior. When a woman ACTS in a self loving and confident manner, then she IS sexy. When she has knowledge of how her body effects men, and can still ACT conservative or respectfully, then she IS sexy. This type of sexy is based on respect that can be acquired when a woman can behave a certain way along with her physically attractive features.

Now armed with a conclusion of what she meant, I came to the realization that the “popular sexy” attempted to skip the things that come before sexy. In this way, sexy means being promiscuous and dressing to reveal as much as possible.

Most women, if critiqued, will argue that this second kind of sexy is the only way to get a mans attention. (I always find it humorous when people argue my point for me.)

You see, the second kind of sexy may attract a mans attention, but that is all that it will attract. It will not attract his respect, admiration, or desire to please you. It will only attract a fleeting infatuation that will leave you in the same position that you began with.

It is acceptable to feel that you are sexy, and know that you are sexy, and even to act sexy. In simply depends on what kind of sexy.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Taking Notice

Pay attention my dear. Or you will miss something very important... and I will be displeased.

Pay attention my dear. Or you will miss something very important… and I will be displeased.

I like to think of being the author of a blog as being just like any other author. (Hopefully) you write because you like to, and 70% of the time it’s fantastic! (10% of the time you get to enjoy writers block) But 20% of the time you realize that what you write down may only make sense to you.

Your readers may be fans of your work; they may comment on their favorite part. But the odds are that they will not read your work and think the same things that you did when you wrote it.

I started this blog because in May 2014 I did an internet search using only the word “FemDom”. Can you guess what the search results were? They were porn. Almost every single one of them. And a lot of them were cruel depictions of pain, anger, spite, and torment in the name of revenge. It is no wonder FemDom is not wide spread, because this is what it looks like to people who would conduct the internet search.

With that said, I would like to draw the attention of my readers to a few things.

I hope that you all will take notice that…

This blog is NOT porn. I attempt to post images that depict FemDom without blatant nudity. And I do this on purpose. FemDom is not solely about sex and so there should be a place for FemDom to be discussed in a practical or sensual sense.

This blog is NOT violence. I do not promote physical disfigurement or excessive violence, and again I do this for a reason. Because such acts of “play” can only exist in fantasy for a small period of time. And accomplishes little real domination. Such intensity can no longer be called sensual and it, therefore, has no home on this blog.

This blog is NOT abuse. I do not suggest relationships where submissive men are used by women who only wish to harm them. So much happens before, during, and after any type of pain that the submissive receives and I hope to explain it all. On this log, submission is a form of strength and it is valued.

Lastly, this blog IS a place that I hope will reach many people and help them come above the ideas that may scare the away from FemDom. And if I don’t reach anyone else… At least I have reached you 🙂

–Miss Ari ^_^

Base Desire

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How can I get started?

I like posts that apply to both Dominant women and submissive men. This will be one of those posts.

I suppose this is actually a question and answer post; the question being simply “How do I get started?”

It’s the question so many people ask when they find out about FemDom, but it is also the question that is rarely answered. It seems really easy to get started. You know what you want and (hopefully) you have a basic idea of how the relationship will work when you find it, but you have no idea how to find it. And the advice that you are likely to find only works if you know someone who could set you up, or if you are willing to join the tiring community of BDSM events and dating sites.

What about the people who want an actual person whom they have other things in common with or who doesn’t live a thousand miles away? Is it possible to begin such a relationship with someone that you met in person? Someone without a profile you could read to find out all their desires?

I did not make this a Q and A post because I don’t have a definite answer to give. Of course it is possible to begin a FemDom relationship this way, but not if you are too afraid of rejection and failure that you would not try. Not if you present all of your deepest desires to your person of interest and become confused when they run away.

This is where the base desire comes in. I like to call it the base desire because it does not imply that you should discontinue your other desires; only that you should be able to identify the one that you could explain simply to someone with out scaring them.

I also like to call it the base desire because it implies a starting point that you should build off of in the relationship. Begin with something that you like (hosiery, feet, female confidence), share it with the person and then build off of it.

This way instead of being overwhelmed, they would feel like they were a part of the process. They would not feel like they are given too much to handle. They would feel connected to you in a way that would be different than their previous experiences.

Can you see how this works better than trying to completely confess in one conversation?

Can you see how this builds a stronger relationship?

And how I never said that you should give up?

–Miss Ari ^_^

Why the Hosiery?

Isn't it clear that I have expectations of you, My dear boy?

Isn’t it clear that I have expectations of you, My dear boy?

“What is the use for hosiery in the FemDom practice? There is nothing on the list of FemDom uses for pantyhose that cannot simply be done with a few purchases from a BDSM site. So why even own a pair?”

These are questions I’ve never been asked, but I’m sure someone has thought of. To many women, the answer is obvious, but for those of you whom are still perplexed, let me explain.

Something happens in the mind of a woman when she suits herself up from head to toe in leather; when she covers with skins that are not her own, when she goes through her toy box for whatever flogger will be her favorite for the evening. Something changes as she transforms herself into the image that she believes to be a dominant woman. Often times she may loose herself completely. She will become a personality that she will immediately toss aside as soon as she sheds herself of the leather corset. It is difficult to see the problem here at first, because there should be nothing wrong with being a dominant woman. She may be completely in control throughout the whole ‘scene’. She will break her slave an remind him to whom he belongs, but when this dominant woman sets down her whip, she has lost all of that. The activities that took place are now in the past and will not reoccur until the leather is back on her body. In essence, this woman is not dominant at all; she is just a really good actress. 

When female domination happens without these things present, then they are not associated with her dominance. Suddenly it was not the paddle in her hand that made her so intimidating; suddenly it was not the crotchless leather pants, or the whip, or the dildo that made her so dominant. It was just her. Every dominant woman needs to be reminded that the things that she thought were essential in order to be a good Domme, were not needed at all. All that was needed was her. 

So why the essential pantyhose, then?

Well, for one it is a confidence booster. But not in the same way as fetish wear is. Unless you are a dominatrix, you would not wear your fetish wear all day long. She would, however, wear hosiery to work or shopping or whatever else she enjoys. She did not have to change what she looks like in order to act like a dominant woman later on in the evening. She COULD have been dominant at any point in the day. She simply chose not to. 

Other than that, hosiery give the illusion of flawlessness. It shows femininity with any ensemble. It shows modesty (even if it is partly satirical). And it shows that she has class and is to be respected. 

If I had it my way, everyone would understand this. But since we all already have an agreement, I just thought I’d explain.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Bring Me a Chair! (an erotic story)

chairThere was something about the way she said those words that made his heart, his head, and everything between his legs lurch with excitement. Their relationship was a pretty normal one. Miss made most of their decisions since they have been living together, but other than that they behaved just like any other couple. They laughed, they cried, the fought, they made love. But the four words that he practically lived to hear came only once in a while.

Miss had had a bad week. He could tell. He had tried to stay out of her way to avoid her temper until she calmed down but it seems that she would not be calming down by herself. Her lovely brown eyes scrunched slightly as she looked over at him. She had a towel wrapped around her body as she stepped out of the bathroom and she let it fall to the floor at her feet. Matt didn’t try to hide his lust as he looked over her supple frame. He was lost in the smooth brown of her skin that hugged every luscious curve of her body. Her hair was wet and it was curling up around her face. His breathing was heavy and he could feel his pale face flushing deep red. He wanted to go up to her and take her in his arms and kiss every inch of her body. He wanted to take her, but his body was not under his own power. It was under hers. And her gaze told him not to move.

So he stood there, waiting, hoping and wishing that she would say his favorite words. Those words that he loved to hear. His gaze lingered at her mouth, and for a minute, he thought he saw a smile.

Then she parted her sweet lips. “Bring me a chair”. He knew better than to hesitate. He went straight to the corner of their bed room where there sat a dark brown wood chair with a red velvet covered seat cushion. He careful lifted the chair and sat it next to where she stood.

His hands were almost shaking with nervousness. He never knew what to expect when she said those words. Images of what had occurred in the past in that chair were like a blur in his mind. He remembered kneeling in front if the chair pleasuring her, and he remembered Miss sitting in the chair as he lay over her lap receiving punishment. A lot of times, she had him stand behind the chair and bend over it. She seemed to like that position. But perhaps he liked it more.

He always felt ashamed of liking the things that happened in that position, but he had a feeling that she already knew that. He loved how well Miss could read him. And he loved that chair because it meant quality time with her. He loved those words. But he loved her next words even more.

“Strip and kneel!”…

–Miss Ari ^_^

 

For stories from my personal relationship, see my other blog.

When You do Something Different…

tumblr_lvp9cchgoe1r0t12to1_500When you do something different, It effects more than just you.

When you do display feminine confidence, you are automatically an icon; a pure treasure.

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When you wear something different, you are setting an example. 

So whatever you wear, make sure that it looks good; but more importantly, make sure that you wear it confidently.

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Don’t be embarrassed to carry yourself like this.

Be the feminine example that in needed in this world. 

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Don’t hesitate to demand this,

Be an educator to the onlookers.

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Don’t be afraid to desire this,

Challenge other men to experience submission for themselves.

To be different can be unnerving. You should expect the pressure.

Don’t be afraid to be different.

Just make sure you do it right.

–Miss Ari ^_^

 

Tell Me About Your Dominant Side

If I kept my dreams a secret, I would surely explode, for, my dreams are often larger than I can bare!

If I kept my dreams a secret, I would surely explode, for, my dreams are often larger than I can bare!

I once spoke with a friend who wanted to know why I didn’t have the desire to submit in a relationship; After a brief explanation, the next request was ‘Tell me about your dominant side’.

The assumption here was that my dominance was a side, or an option, something that I needed to tap into whenever I had need of it. It never occurred to me that it could be a side. For me, It was never a side. It was my core, and it was hidden behind societal values until I realized that I could let it out. This is different than if it had been like a coin. I would be capable of flipping it from side to side whenever I felt like it, but one side of a coin can only consist of half the coin. The other half must always have its share.

The dominance coin may be useful to some women, who are uncomfortable with being dominant. With this concept, they are able to turn off their dominance and ‘fit in’ to the stencils that they have been raised with. 

But I bet, the stencils bring pain, and I bet conformity is a miserable peace. 

It is certainly something that I am no longer willing or able to do.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting that a dominant woman is totally dominant all the time. It is impossible. As a citizen of any country, a dominant woman abides by the laws, and perhaps even as a daughter, a dominant woman may behave less dominantly in the presence of her mother out of respect. A dominant woman will not resist submission in stewardship to what she holds valuable, But a dominant woman will NOT take a submissive role in order to gain friends or make those around her more comfortable. 

So my dear friends, I can not tell you about my dominant side, because it is not a side. It is a life style, it is a personality, it is a thought frame. It doesn’t turn off, or go away. It is not curable or a result of a bad child hood.

It is natural and it is me. And I LOVE me!

–Miss Ari ^_^

I’m Taking You With Me

Will you follow, or are you too afraid?

Will you follow, or are you too afraid?

You’ve made a terrible mistake, My darling.

For being so good at these things that I ask of you. For knowing me so well after only a few short months. It was a terribly wonderful mistake because now I’m taking taking you with me.

It is not a question, My dear man,

but if it were, I know your answer would be “Yes, Miss!”, so it is actually better for me to simply tell you that I am taking you with me.

I am going to so many wonderful places,

Some I may just visit and some I may stay a while, but each one will be grand. I am going to the end of the earth and (perhaps) back. And you don’t have to say anything, My sweet, for I know that you will follow me all the way. And that is why I’m taking you with me.

I am so happy to see how confused you are now.

We will count the days together until you finally see the glory of what I have allowed of you, treasured slave. What I have allowed now that I’m taking you with me.

Don’t worry about your inexperience, though. I already know of it and I am willing to teach you when I take you with me.

Don’t worry of the key to your new silver collar, My beloved. We will mot need it now that I have decided that I’m taking you with me.

Don’t worry of what others will think, My pet, none of their opinions will matter anymore when we get started.

And don’t worry that I will become bored of you, My pet.

I have bought fair for an endless journey seated left of my desires and right of my passions.

And aren’t you so glad that I’m taking you with me?

–Miss Ari ^_^