Black and White ~ Ready

You knew I liked leather. Now, I think that’s what attracted you to me in the first place. You thought I wasn’t like the average woman and maybe, just maybe, I’d be open to those things you think about when you’re all alone at night.

Last month when you finally confessed all your dirty little secrets to me, I was a bit taken aback. But I meant it when I said I would think about it, and I have. Now I’ve been doing some internet research, and I’ve been finding out what all of your desires really entail. I’m not sure how many of them I’ll actually like. But I’m interested enough to give it all a try.

This collar is the first of many things I’ll be buying for our exploration. I’m ready. Are you?

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This is your last chance. If you’re really up to this, then crawl toward me and submit to my will. Go on and take a few minutes to decide. I don’t want you trying to change your mind later.

–Miss Ari ^_^

 

Black and White ~ Punishment

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Darling, if you didn’t know what to say you should have asked or not said anything at all. I get that you’re nervous to be at this party with such a beautiful woman like me but do not embarrass me in front of my friends again! Now when we get back out there, I want you as charming as ever or you won’t be allowed to worship my feet tonight. Got it?

Yes Ma’am.

Good boy.

Black and White ~ Discipline

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She really wasn’t kidding when she said that she was going to get serious about his discipline. He was sure that she would be in a good mood today. She went to that fancy brunch with her friends that she’d been talking about all week. And he supposed that she was still in a good mood and yet she didn’t hesitate assign him a punishment.

She said they would still have their play time later that day. And that of course the punishment wouldn’t wait. She said he needed this and he deserved this.

He hung his head and entered the room thinking that the weight of her gaze would crush him into dust.

He should have just done his chores like he was supposed to.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Black and White ~ 1

22115f0a5aec6769d57e71c4cfd776d8 I know I haven’t been here lately. I’ve been over here a lot. But I’m not gone! And, in an attempt to get back on a schedule, I’ll be posting a black and white FemDom photo about every Friday accompanied by my comments or perhaps a poem. There’s something just so alluring about a black and white photo especially one as powerful as this. Beautiful legs just perfect for hosiery and an obedient boy at her feet, right where he belongs.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Be Careful What You Wish For (Short Fiction)

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I watched his face carefully. His eyes were closed tightly and his breathing was labored but he remaining as still as he could. I knew he expected more, but I also suspected that he would not be able to handle any more. I rubbed my hand over his red flesh and he flinched for the first time.

“That’s enough.” I said softly. This wasn’t a punishment, after all. This was only to show him what would happen if he were to disobey me.

He looked up at me confused for a moment.

“That’s all for today. You took more than I thought you would. Were you counting?”

He nodded slowly.

“How many?”

He thought for a moment, then he took a breath. “Twenty-two?”

“Is that a question?”

“No. It… it was twenty-two.”

I sat my implement down and walked around him slowly. “Are you sure? It wasn’t Twenty-four? What about twenty-one?” I could see him hesitate for a moment.

“Umm…”

“Maybe we should start over? Then you can count again. Do you want to change your answer?”

“No, Ma’am. It was twenty-two.”

I smiled at him. “Very good.”

I stepped back until my legs touched the edge of the bed and I sat. “Come here.” I curled my finger at him.

He got to his knees slowly and crawled over to me. I received him taking his face into my hands and pulling closer kissing him deeply.

I broke the kiss.

“Yes.” He whispered.

“Yes, What?”

“Yes I still want to belong to you.”

I smiled. “I wasn’t going to ask.” I said. “I’ve asked you enough and I believe you now. I’m deciding for myself that you belong to me and there’s no going back. You know that don’t you? You’ll never be the same again. I own you totally and completely; every part of you is mine now.”

“Yes, Ma’am. Of course, Ma’am.”

“Do you like belonging to me?”

“Yes, Ma’am. It feels so good to belong to you. I wish to never leave your side.”

I smiled that sadistic smile that he loved. “Be careful what you wish for.”

–Miss Ari ^_^

 

P.S. I’ve recently created a second blog where I’ll be posting more personal stories and fun happenings from my current relationship: Here.

Q & A: How Do I Punish Him When He Enjoys Spanking?

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No I don’t believe you have forgotten your place. You just need a reminder.

I can tell you right off the bat that so many women worry needlessly about this sort of thing.

The first thing we have to think about is that regardless of whether or not someone enjoys spanking, it is still corporal punishment. A spanking, to a submissive man that enjoys it, still serves the purpose of reinforcing the dynamic of the relationship. It helps the Dominant to feel dominant and it helps the submissive to feel submissive to the Dominant. Even if he were to beg you for it and thank you for it afterward, it still has aspects of humiliation to it.

A masochist still feels pain and through receiving pain form their Dominant, they can reenter a submissive mind frame. In this case, corporal punishment can still serve as a corrective tool for slipping behaviors.

But let’s back track for a moment, because not all submissive are like this. In fact, most men that enjoy spanking enjoy it in a sensual sense. It is a level where it is still painful but not to a level that they would deem “too painful”. If you are seeking to use spankings as a punishment for this type of man, you need only step it up a notch. And this can be in intensity or in the implement that you choose. For instance, a man may enjoy being paddled, but would try to avoid the strap or the PVC tube at all costs.

Only if your skepticism still stands at this point, would I suggest that you start getting creative. There are, of course, other ways to discipline your submissive man including giving him rigorous physical tasks, chores and errands, or humiliation methods such as the many variations of corner time.

All other complications aside, it does come down to how you feel about it. If you don’t like the idea of spanking him to a point where he sees it as punishment, then you should turn to other methods. With whatever method you choose, your confidence must not wane. If think it will be effective, then it will.

Thanks for the question

–Miss Ari ^_^

The Hardest Part About This Blog

Class is not restricted by age.

Class is not restricted by age.

By far the pictures. I often find it difficult to find a picture depicting both elegance and female power. Most of the FemDom photos that can be found are vulgar to say the least. And a fair amount of picture of women in hosiery are of the same context. I need pictures that depict that hosiery is sexy, yes, but I also need pictures that do not make it seem sleazy.

This blog is restricted to the pictures of poise; of confident woman that know how to handle themselves in a manner that exceeds outsider opinions.

This is not something that I will settle on. I will not give in to something that is just okay. I will scavenge for the strong and accurate pictures. These days, we could use more determination in our lives even if we only start with something that may seem small.

I am not afraid to go first. I choose photos of the gentle prowess of the dominant woman and the men who love them.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Is it wrong?

Wrong? Don't be silly, darling. Does this feel wrong to you?

Wrong? Don’t be silly, darling. Does this feel wrong to you?

Well, what do you think? Because a majority of the people that ask this are not asking whether it is really wrong, but they are asking what they should think. They do not think it is wrong but society tells them that they should.

I don’t blame them for being skeptical. Skepticism is a critical part of surviving. So maybe, by popular definition it is weird. Maybe it doesn’t fit in too well; maybe it’s wrong, but it feels so good doesn’t it?

Your body screams for my dominance.
Your skin craves my caress.
Your heart yearns to be enveloped in the sound of my voice, no matter what the command.
Your very bones tremble as I leave.
Your mind surrendered long ago.
But it doesn’t matter because you trust me to think for you when you cannot think for yourself.

It is not ignorance that you live in. It’s not power craze that fuels me.
It is our essences folding together where they belong.
Your submission is bliss.

And at the end of the day, if we are apart, we are still together. Aren’t we?

You can still feel my hand entwined in your hair.

Is that wrong?

I don’t think so.

 

–Miss Ari ^_^

Disagreements in a FemDom relationship

Of course I will listen to your opinions. And of course I will have the final word

Of course I will listen to your opinions. And of course I will have the final word

It is my belief that in any healthy relationship, regardless of the power distribution, there should be no fights.

Disagreements, however, will always happen whether you want them to or not. One person may want one thing and the other person may want something different. Obvious solutions to disagreements are a lot of communication and compromise.

But how is this situation tackled in a relationship where there is power imbalance? What if the woman has final say in the decisions of a relationship? Wouldn’t that create a conflict?
The answer is no. In a FemDom relationship, compromise carries a different meaning. It is no longer, both parties attempting an equal sacrifice. It is now the dominant partners’ decision whether or not to implement the submissive wishes, and the submissive knowing that she has the option not to.

Any responsible Domme seeks knowledge about her submissive and takes it into consideration when making decisions. If not, bad things can happen.

A certain presentation of FemDom depicts the male’s presence making no changes to her decisions. This is unrealistic. Things like health and psychological strength have to be taken into account.

It may sound like a lot of pressure is being put on the dominant woman, and it probably is. It’s no secret that being dominant comes with responsibility. Conflicts should be tackled assuming that sort of responsibility.

A prime example is a dominant woman wanting to do a certain activity and the submissive not wanting this activity. The ultimate question is whether to push the submissive boundaries.

This can be looked at two ways. The first way is assuming that the submissive is apprehensive but is willing to accept her help and guidance into the new territory. This is ideal. In this case, the submissive should be pushed slightly to promote the growth of the relationship.

The second situation is if the submissive is unwilling to be pushed. In this case, the submissive will usually react with anger or resentment. These are the markings of a corrupt relationship. Pushing this type of submissive would cause more problems and not pushing this type of submissive would be a mockery of a FemDom relationship.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Thank you for all of the post requests I have gotten so far. If you’d like recognition for something you have requested, I am willing upon request.

What’s Wrong With Submissive men?

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Good boy.

One of the big arguments that I have come across does not even come from the male perspective. It comes from the females. Women will often complain that they do not want FemDom because they do not wish to mother their men.

This is a complaint that comes from uninformed individuals. Aside from cases where a man would have an actual or unhealthy attraction to his mother, such a thing should not be a cause for concern.

First of all, you will never be his mother. It is impossible and he knows this as well. Such a concern is not justified to belong toward FemDom. A mother will typically care for, discipline, as well as do things for the child. The mothers does this for the child simply because he will not be able to care for himself otherwise. FemDom is not meant to mimic this. FemDom is based off of a certain level of stratification that places the supportive role on the male. A submissive man will not want to be tucked in, spoon fed, and pampered like an infant. He will want to be lead firmly and lovingly so that he can be at his best as an adult, not a child.

Second, any feelings that he may have toward women being in charge are natural. They do not hinder his ability to be what you want him to be as well. He may be tall, strong, reliable, and providing. He will have the capabilities as the “regular man” desired by these opposing women. The only difference is that he will want to be able to come home and know exactly how he should resent himself for your approval.

He will want to know how to avoid your anger and exactly how to apologize for transgression.

He will want you, in all of your strengths and weaknesses.

He will want to learn your desires and your rejections.

He will want to be his best for you.

So, tell me. What is wrong with submissive men?

–Miss Ari ^_^

What Your Fears Are To Me

They are real despite what others might think.

They are thing I may not ever fear for myself, just as my fears are to you.

They can be lethal to our relationship if not handled properly.

They are nothing to be ashamed of;

nothing to hide from.

Your fears are bigger than I think they are;

and they are smaller than you think they are.

Your fears are a story written by your past;

and yet a path to a better future.

Your fears will bring us closer together.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Forgive yourself for me.

Forgive yourself for me.

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Poisonous Perfection

whip your life-oooooI’ve come across a few blogs by now with similar themes and I hope that mine is not interpreted as being a part of them.

Femdom is not an excuse to suggest that a woman or women in general are perfect. It is arguable that Femdom is a confidence booster but it certainly does not imply perfection.

Using the term Goddess, for example, is good in theory (if you are into that sort of thing) but should be used as a stage name. It should be understood that the “Goddess” is in fact not perfect. She can still fail. she can still make mistakes, over look details, and make misjudgments. Because at the end of the day, she is no ones Goddess but his. To all others, she may not be ordinary, but she is still human.

Similarly, is the idea of hosiery bringing an illusion of flawlessness. But an illusion is still an illusion. Skin may not be that soft, shiny, tan, or seemless when they are shed of their beautiful covering. I dont have to explain WHY I like hosiery. But I suppose I do have to explain that to me, it is not meant to be rid of flaw completely.

Perfection poisons the mind and take the form of rose colored GLASSES. It shocks everyone when they find out that this perfect person is prone to mistake. It devistates the mind of someone who thinks they cannot fail when, one day, they do not know what to do in a certain situation.

Such a poison hinders the ability to appologize for things like this. Something as simple as appologizing to a significant other becomes impossible because he is seen as beneath you in stature. A lot of these people would be surprised to see the reaction they would get after a simple appology. It shouldn’t be disgust or shame or loss of love. It should be respect for someone brave enough to know that they are not perfect.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Is Consistency in Training a Good Thing? Q and A.

Pay very close attention my darling. You must remember the rules... just incase I forget :p

Pay very close attention my darling. You must remember the rules… just incase I forget :p

Consistency. Is it a got thing or a bad thing?
Well, it depends; not on the person or the relationship; but simply how you think of consistency.
To some people, consistency in a relationship means that the relationship stays the same. The couple engages in the same activities as they did before. In this sense, no it is not a good thing. It is a bad thing to make a relationship into a routine.

But…

If we think of consistency as allowing solid expectations for behavior and holding him accountable to them, then YES. Consistency is imperitive.

“But what about keeping him on his toes?” You may ask.

Keeping him on his toes means that at no point will she tolerate a period of downtime in which he is allowed to be overtly disobedient.

“So no down time then?”

Down time doesn’t mean disobedience. It is important to be able to share each others company in a relaxed environment among others, but it is even more important to stay comfortable in your roles.

To a certain degree, you cannot change your expectation of his role daily. You will make him confused. But one of the hardest things to remember is that you have to teach him to like more than just your persona if the relationship is going to last.

It feels good to be back in America. I think the hardest part will be getting started with the blog again. Any requests?

misshosieryfetish@yahoo.com

–MIss Ari ^_^

What Kind of Sexy?

"Compared to others, I make sexy appear effortless. But in truth, everyone else is trying too hard anyway."

“Compared to others, I make sexy appear effortless. But in truth, everyone else is trying too hard anyway.”

In most western societies, young girls are taught that a good girl does not “act sexy”. This seems as if it would be a simple enough concept but things were still a tad confusing for me.

I am sure that I was not alone in wondering why “looking sexy” was so important when you were not allowed to act it. Upon questioning my mother about the topic she laughed softly and said. “Real women don’t act sexy. They ARE sexy.” (My mother was notorious for not explaining what she meant).

Now I was thoroughly confused. Not only was society giving me a double standard, but the person that I went to on order to clear things up, did not use the terminology the same way as mass media did. However, it took a few years before I was able to realize this.

What MaMa was saying, was that sexy is a product of mind frame and behavior. When a woman ACTS in a self loving and confident manner, then she IS sexy. When she has knowledge of how her body effects men, and can still ACT conservative or respectfully, then she IS sexy. This type of sexy is based on respect that can be acquired when a woman can behave a certain way along with her physically attractive features.

Now armed with a conclusion of what she meant, I came to the realization that the “popular sexy” attempted to skip the things that come before sexy. In this way, sexy means being promiscuous and dressing to reveal as much as possible.

Most women, if critiqued, will argue that this second kind of sexy is the only way to get a mans attention. (I always find it humorous when people argue my point for me.)

You see, the second kind of sexy may attract a mans attention, but that is all that it will attract. It will not attract his respect, admiration, or desire to please you. It will only attract a fleeting infatuation that will leave you in the same position that you began with.

It is acceptable to feel that you are sexy, and know that you are sexy, and even to act sexy. In simply depends on what kind of sexy.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Bad Advice Part 4: Strap-on Play (the Concept)

nets and heels

This post may be very closely related to another post of mine where I discuss some of the ideas that I consider to be problematic in FemDom literature. Most (if not all) of the bad advice associated with strap-on play comes from erotic stories.

There are a number of sites (“vanilla” and “kinky” alike) that offer advice for anal play but, some how, as soon as the idea is introduced into a FemDom story, all precaution is forgotten.

That said, safety is not even the biggest issue in these stories. The biggest issue is a false representation of FemDom. In a majority of the FemDom stories I have read, strap-on’s are portrayed as a way to stand in for something that the dominant woman lacks. A penis.

I am not at all stating that there is anything wrong with having such an organ, but there certainly is something wrong with the idea that the lack of one is looked down upon. By this definition, every woman is made to seem inadequate and the only way that she can be truly dominant, is by means of a false phallus.

I will admit that this reasoning is hard to detect at first. I first noticed it when I read a phrase in a short story where the Dominant Woman states that she is sorry that she doesn’t have anything for him to swallow. (just imagine the context)

Why should she be sorry for something like that? How could she feel the need to apologize for not being a man? This is not at all what FemDom is about. FemDom is about fulfilling the will of the female. If that will includes her enjoying him in this way, then that is her decision. The strap-on is a tool of convenience for the woman. It is not a way for the woman to seek her dominance through taking on the form of a man.

–Miss Ari ^_^

 

P.S. Not all FemDom literature experiences are bad ones. Here is a link to a short story that I did enjoy, sent to me by one of my blog’s followers. Enjoy.

P.P.S. For stories from my personal relationship, see my other blog.

 

Base Desire

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How can I get started?

I like posts that apply to both Dominant women and submissive men. This will be one of those posts.

I suppose this is actually a question and answer post; the question being simply “How do I get started?”

It’s the question so many people ask when they find out about FemDom, but it is also the question that is rarely answered. It seems really easy to get started. You know what you want and (hopefully) you have a basic idea of how the relationship will work when you find it, but you have no idea how to find it. And the advice that you are likely to find only works if you know someone who could set you up, or if you are willing to join the tiring community of BDSM events and dating sites.

What about the people who want an actual person whom they have other things in common with or who doesn’t live a thousand miles away? Is it possible to begin such a relationship with someone that you met in person? Someone without a profile you could read to find out all their desires?

I did not make this a Q and A post because I don’t have a definite answer to give. Of course it is possible to begin a FemDom relationship this way, but not if you are too afraid of rejection and failure that you would not try. Not if you present all of your deepest desires to your person of interest and become confused when they run away.

This is where the base desire comes in. I like to call it the base desire because it does not imply that you should discontinue your other desires; only that you should be able to identify the one that you could explain simply to someone with out scaring them.

I also like to call it the base desire because it implies a starting point that you should build off of in the relationship. Begin with something that you like (hosiery, feet, female confidence), share it with the person and then build off of it.

This way instead of being overwhelmed, they would feel like they were a part of the process. They would not feel like they are given too much to handle. They would feel connected to you in a way that would be different than their previous experiences.

Can you see how this works better than trying to completely confess in one conversation?

Can you see how this builds a stronger relationship?

And how I never said that you should give up?

–Miss Ari ^_^

Why the Hosiery?

Isn't it clear that I have expectations of you, My dear boy?

Isn’t it clear that I have expectations of you, My dear boy?

“What is the use for hosiery in the FemDom practice? There is nothing on the list of FemDom uses for pantyhose that cannot simply be done with a few purchases from a BDSM site. So why even own a pair?”

These are questions I’ve never been asked, but I’m sure someone has thought of. To many women, the answer is obvious, but for those of you whom are still perplexed, let me explain.

Something happens in the mind of a woman when she suits herself up from head to toe in leather; when she covers with skins that are not her own, when she goes through her toy box for whatever flogger will be her favorite for the evening. Something changes as she transforms herself into the image that she believes to be a dominant woman. Often times she may loose herself completely. She will become a personality that she will immediately toss aside as soon as she sheds herself of the leather corset. It is difficult to see the problem here at first, because there should be nothing wrong with being a dominant woman. She may be completely in control throughout the whole ‘scene’. She will break her slave an remind him to whom he belongs, but when this dominant woman sets down her whip, she has lost all of that. The activities that took place are now in the past and will not reoccur until the leather is back on her body. In essence, this woman is not dominant at all; she is just a really good actress. 

When female domination happens without these things present, then they are not associated with her dominance. Suddenly it was not the paddle in her hand that made her so intimidating; suddenly it was not the crotchless leather pants, or the whip, or the dildo that made her so dominant. It was just her. Every dominant woman needs to be reminded that the things that she thought were essential in order to be a good Domme, were not needed at all. All that was needed was her. 

So why the essential pantyhose, then?

Well, for one it is a confidence booster. But not in the same way as fetish wear is. Unless you are a dominatrix, you would not wear your fetish wear all day long. She would, however, wear hosiery to work or shopping or whatever else she enjoys. She did not have to change what she looks like in order to act like a dominant woman later on in the evening. She COULD have been dominant at any point in the day. She simply chose not to. 

Other than that, hosiery give the illusion of flawlessness. It shows femininity with any ensemble. It shows modesty (even if it is partly satirical). And it shows that she has class and is to be respected. 

If I had it my way, everyone would understand this. But since we all already have an agreement, I just thought I’d explain.

–Miss Ari ^_^

A Man That Provides (A Poem)

tumblr_mhkc4j8x0s1rgsoq1o1_400I grew up with those girls in cherry red laces,
With snow white bows, and soft pretty faces,
And I’ll swear to you over and over again,
Than I can’t possibly be any different than them.

They desire a mate that’s strong not lame,
And to some extent, I swear I’m the same,
They prepare and train and work all their lives,
In order to gain a man that provides.

If I set my standards to a scale of ten,
Manners would appear again and again,
I would not stand for ill manner or rudeness, besides,
A girl only wishes her man would provide.

I’ve picked out his duties, his jobs and more,
I will need him able, to complete the chores,
He must be obedient and provide patient features,
And if he were docile, that wouldn’t hurt either.

For the best results, I guess I must lead,
But it will be quite easy indeed,
He’ll learn when to shut his mouth to survive,
I want nothing more than a man who provides.

So don’t you see? It’s not much that I ask.
I believe I’ve requested the simplest task,
These submissive men are in large supply,
It is easy to find man that provides.

–Miss Ari ^_^

 

This poem was inspired in part by my own experiences of hearing what was desired around me and thinking that I wanted the same thing. And of course, I could say that I want a man that provides just like the other women but, I never really did want what they want. My ideal man provided different things than theirs did. I think a lot of women are like this. They are holding back and trying to fit their wants and their needs into the empty spaces of societies puzzle, but sooner or later they will find that it doesn’t work.

And when that day comes, it will all make sense.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Bring Me a Chair! (an erotic story)

chairThere was something about the way she said those words that made his heart, his head, and everything between his legs lurch with excitement. Their relationship was a pretty normal one. Miss made most of their decisions since they have been living together, but other than that they behaved just like any other couple. They laughed, they cried, the fought, they made love. But the four words that he practically lived to hear came only once in a while.

Miss had had a bad week. He could tell. He had tried to stay out of her way to avoid her temper until she calmed down but it seems that she would not be calming down by herself. Her lovely brown eyes scrunched slightly as she looked over at him. She had a towel wrapped around her body as she stepped out of the bathroom and she let it fall to the floor at her feet. Matt didn’t try to hide his lust as he looked over her supple frame. He was lost in the smooth brown of her skin that hugged every luscious curve of her body. Her hair was wet and it was curling up around her face. His breathing was heavy and he could feel his pale face flushing deep red. He wanted to go up to her and take her in his arms and kiss every inch of her body. He wanted to take her, but his body was not under his own power. It was under hers. And her gaze told him not to move.

So he stood there, waiting, hoping and wishing that she would say his favorite words. Those words that he loved to hear. His gaze lingered at her mouth, and for a minute, he thought he saw a smile.

Then she parted her sweet lips. “Bring me a chair”. He knew better than to hesitate. He went straight to the corner of their bed room where there sat a dark brown wood chair with a red velvet covered seat cushion. He careful lifted the chair and sat it next to where she stood.

His hands were almost shaking with nervousness. He never knew what to expect when she said those words. Images of what had occurred in the past in that chair were like a blur in his mind. He remembered kneeling in front if the chair pleasuring her, and he remembered Miss sitting in the chair as he lay over her lap receiving punishment. A lot of times, she had him stand behind the chair and bend over it. She seemed to like that position. But perhaps he liked it more.

He always felt ashamed of liking the things that happened in that position, but he had a feeling that she already knew that. He loved how well Miss could read him. And he loved that chair because it meant quality time with her. He loved those words. But he loved her next words even more.

“Strip and kneel!”…

–Miss Ari ^_^

 

For stories from my personal relationship, see my other blog.