Q & A: How Do I Punish Him When He Enjoys Spanking?

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No I don’t believe you have forgotten your place. You just need a reminder.

I can tell you right off the bat that so many women worry needlessly about this sort of thing.

The first thing we have to think about is that regardless of whether or not someone enjoys spanking, it is still corporal punishment. A spanking, to a submissive man that enjoys it, still serves the purpose of reinforcing the dynamic of the relationship. It helps the Dominant to feel dominant and it helps the submissive to feel submissive to the Dominant. Even if he were to beg you for it and thank you for it afterward, it still has aspects of humiliation to it.

A masochist still feels pain and through receiving pain form their Dominant, they can reenter a submissive mind frame. In this case, corporal punishment can still serve as a corrective tool for slipping behaviors.

But let’s back track for a moment, because not all submissive are like this. In fact, most men that enjoy spanking enjoy it in a sensual sense. It is a level where it is still painful but not to a level that they would deem “too painful”. If you are seeking to use spankings as a punishment for this type of man, you need only step it up a notch. And this can be in intensity or in the implement that you choose. For instance, a man may enjoy being paddled, but would try to avoid the strap or the PVC tube at all costs.

Only if your skepticism still stands at this point, would I suggest that you start getting creative. There are, of course, other ways to discipline your submissive man including giving him rigorous physical tasks, chores and errands, or humiliation methods such as the many variations of corner time.

All other complications aside, it does come down to how you feel about it. If you don’t like the idea of spanking him to a point where he sees it as punishment, then you should turn to other methods. With whatever method you choose, your confidence must not wane. If think it will be effective, then it will.

Thanks for the question

–Miss Ari ^_^

Power Dynamic

I haven’t had the pleasure of knowing a woman that is in a female led relationship that was initiated by the male; however, from what i have heard, it is difficult for these women to come to terms with the new power dynamic.

The power dynamic is the basis of all femdom relationships but as the dominant woman, I decide the degree of of my power. A high power dynamic would include the woman making all decisions and the male not being allowed to decide anything. A low power dynamic would include decisions being made as a couple with the woman having the final say in everything. I personally favor a dynamic where the woman has all power of decision but the male has power of suggestion. Each of these dynamics are female led and it is the woman’s decision how the power dynamic will be displayed.

Regardless of the preferred dynamic, the important part is how you acquire that power. Even if the male offers you power over himself, you are still not in control until you decide that you are.

Now, no woman should feel like she must act manly to be in charge. There is no need for that. In fact, correctly harnessed female power is far more powerful than trying to be something that you are not.

There can and should be femininity in the way that you command. After all, it is the appeal anyway. Females gentleness should not be taken for weakness. However, it should still exist in a relationship along with every bit of firmness that she possesses.

–Miss Ari ^_^

The Hardest Part About This Blog

Class is not restricted by age.

Class is not restricted by age.

By far the pictures. I often find it difficult to find a picture depicting both elegance and female power. Most of the FemDom photos that can be found are vulgar to say the least. And a fair amount of picture of women in hosiery are of the same context. I need pictures that depict that hosiery is sexy, yes, but I also need pictures that do not make it seem sleazy.

This blog is restricted to the pictures of poise; of confident woman that know how to handle themselves in a manner that exceeds outsider opinions.

This is not something that I will settle on. I will not give in to something that is just okay. I will scavenge for the strong and accurate pictures. These days, we could use more determination in our lives even if we only start with something that may seem small.

I am not afraid to go first. I choose photos of the gentle prowess of the dominant woman and the men who love them.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Is it wrong?

Wrong? Don't be silly, darling. Does this feel wrong to you?

Wrong? Don’t be silly, darling. Does this feel wrong to you?

Well, what do you think? Because a majority of the people that ask this are not asking whether it is really wrong, but they are asking what they should think. They do not think it is wrong but society tells them that they should.

I don’t blame them for being skeptical. Skepticism is a critical part of surviving. So maybe, by popular definition it is weird. Maybe it doesn’t fit in too well; maybe it’s wrong, but it feels so good doesn’t it?

Your body screams for my dominance.
Your skin craves my caress.
Your heart yearns to be enveloped in the sound of my voice, no matter what the command.
Your very bones tremble as I leave.
Your mind surrendered long ago.
But it doesn’t matter because you trust me to think for you when you cannot think for yourself.

It is not ignorance that you live in. It’s not power craze that fuels me.
It is our essences folding together where they belong.
Your submission is bliss.

And at the end of the day, if we are apart, we are still together. Aren’t we?

You can still feel my hand entwined in your hair.

Is that wrong?

I don’t think so.

 

–Miss Ari ^_^

Disagreements in a FemDom relationship

Of course I will listen to your opinions. And of course I will have the final word

Of course I will listen to your opinions. And of course I will have the final word

It is my belief that in any healthy relationship, regardless of the power distribution, there should be no fights.

Disagreements, however, will always happen whether you want them to or not. One person may want one thing and the other person may want something different. Obvious solutions to disagreements are a lot of communication and compromise.

But how is this situation tackled in a relationship where there is power imbalance? What if the woman has final say in the decisions of a relationship? Wouldn’t that create a conflict?
The answer is no. In a FemDom relationship, compromise carries a different meaning. It is no longer, both parties attempting an equal sacrifice. It is now the dominant partners’ decision whether or not to implement the submissive wishes, and the submissive knowing that she has the option not to.

Any responsible Domme seeks knowledge about her submissive and takes it into consideration when making decisions. If not, bad things can happen.

A certain presentation of FemDom depicts the male’s presence making no changes to her decisions. This is unrealistic. Things like health and psychological strength have to be taken into account.

It may sound like a lot of pressure is being put on the dominant woman, and it probably is. It’s no secret that being dominant comes with responsibility. Conflicts should be tackled assuming that sort of responsibility.

A prime example is a dominant woman wanting to do a certain activity and the submissive not wanting this activity. The ultimate question is whether to push the submissive boundaries.

This can be looked at two ways. The first way is assuming that the submissive is apprehensive but is willing to accept her help and guidance into the new territory. This is ideal. In this case, the submissive should be pushed slightly to promote the growth of the relationship.

The second situation is if the submissive is unwilling to be pushed. In this case, the submissive will usually react with anger or resentment. These are the markings of a corrupt relationship. Pushing this type of submissive would cause more problems and not pushing this type of submissive would be a mockery of a FemDom relationship.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Thank you for all of the post requests I have gotten so far. If you’d like recognition for something you have requested, I am willing upon request.

What’s Wrong With Submissive men?

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Good boy.

One of the big arguments that I have come across does not even come from the male perspective. It comes from the females. Women will often complain that they do not want FemDom because they do not wish to mother their men.

This is a complaint that comes from uninformed individuals. Aside from cases where a man would have an actual or unhealthy attraction to his mother, such a thing should not be a cause for concern.

First of all, you will never be his mother. It is impossible and he knows this as well. Such a concern is not justified to belong toward FemDom. A mother will typically care for, discipline, as well as do things for the child. The mothers does this for the child simply because he will not be able to care for himself otherwise. FemDom is not meant to mimic this. FemDom is based off of a certain level of stratification that places the supportive role on the male. A submissive man will not want to be tucked in, spoon fed, and pampered like an infant. He will want to be lead firmly and lovingly so that he can be at his best as an adult, not a child.

Second, any feelings that he may have toward women being in charge are natural. They do not hinder his ability to be what you want him to be as well. He may be tall, strong, reliable, and providing. He will have the capabilities as the “regular man” desired by these opposing women. The only difference is that he will want to be able to come home and know exactly how he should resent himself for your approval.

He will want to know how to avoid your anger and exactly how to apologize for transgression.

He will want you, in all of your strengths and weaknesses.

He will want to learn your desires and your rejections.

He will want to be his best for you.

So, tell me. What is wrong with submissive men?

–Miss Ari ^_^

What Your Fears Are To Me

They are real despite what others might think.

They are thing I may not ever fear for myself, just as my fears are to you.

They can be lethal to our relationship if not handled properly.

They are nothing to be ashamed of;

nothing to hide from.

Your fears are bigger than I think they are;

and they are smaller than you think they are.

Your fears are a story written by your past;

and yet a path to a better future.

Your fears will bring us closer together.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Forgive yourself for me.

Forgive yourself for me.

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