I’m Back

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That’s right. I’m back from a hiatus… A looooong hiatus. I can’t believe that it has really been two years since my last post. I didn’t necessarily intend for that to happen. Never the less, I do have a couple of updates and announcements.

1) I’ll be continuing my “Black and White” series trying to post weekly.

2) I’ve been busy writing some erotica and publishing them on Amazon Kindle. I’ve started to add the titles to my Books Worth Reading page. Go check it out

3) I’ve also started offering services as a professional disciplinarian. Find out what that means and how it could benefit you at my other website here holisticdiscipline.com

4) If you want to get in touch with me from now on, you might get a faster response from my new email address on my about page

That’s all for now,

Welcome me back with a comment below.

–Miss Ari ^_^

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Black and White ~ Ready

You knew I liked leather. Now, I think that’s what attracted you to me in the first place. You thought I wasn’t like the average woman and maybe, just maybe, I’d be open to those things you think about when you’re all alone at night.

Last month when you finally confessed all your dirty little secrets to me, I was a bit taken aback. But I meant it when I said I would think about it, and I have. Now I’ve been doing some internet research, and I’ve been finding out what all of your desires really entail. I’m not sure how many of them I’ll actually like. But I’m interested enough to give it all a try.

This collar is the first of many things I’ll be buying for our exploration. I’m ready. Are you?

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This is your last chance. If you’re really up to this, then crawl toward me and submit to my will. Go on and take a few minutes to decide. I don’t want you trying to change your mind later.

–Miss Ari ^_^

 

The Hardest Part About This Blog

Class is not restricted by age.

Class is not restricted by age.

By far the pictures. I often find it difficult to find a picture depicting both elegance and female power. Most of the FemDom photos that can be found are vulgar to say the least. And a fair amount of picture of women in hosiery are of the same context. I need pictures that depict that hosiery is sexy, yes, but I also need pictures that do not make it seem sleazy.

This blog is restricted to the pictures of poise; of confident woman that know how to handle themselves in a manner that exceeds outsider opinions.

This is not something that I will settle on. I will not give in to something that is just okay. I will scavenge for the strong and accurate pictures. These days, we could use more determination in our lives even if we only start with something that may seem small.

I am not afraid to go first. I choose photos of the gentle prowess of the dominant woman and the men who love them.

–Miss Ari ^_^

What Kind of Sexy?

"Compared to others, I make sexy appear effortless. But in truth, everyone else is trying too hard anyway."

“Compared to others, I make sexy appear effortless. But in truth, everyone else is trying too hard anyway.”

In most western societies, young girls are taught that a good girl does not “act sexy”. This seems as if it would be a simple enough concept but things were still a tad confusing for me.

I am sure that I was not alone in wondering why “looking sexy” was so important when you were not allowed to act it. Upon questioning my mother about the topic she laughed softly and said. “Real women don’t act sexy. They ARE sexy.” (My mother was notorious for not explaining what she meant).

Now I was thoroughly confused. Not only was society giving me a double standard, but the person that I went to on order to clear things up, did not use the terminology the same way as mass media did. However, it took a few years before I was able to realize this.

What MaMa was saying, was that sexy is a product of mind frame and behavior. When a woman ACTS in a self loving and confident manner, then she IS sexy. When she has knowledge of how her body effects men, and can still ACT conservative or respectfully, then she IS sexy. This type of sexy is based on respect that can be acquired when a woman can behave a certain way along with her physically attractive features.

Now armed with a conclusion of what she meant, I came to the realization that the “popular sexy” attempted to skip the things that come before sexy. In this way, sexy means being promiscuous and dressing to reveal as much as possible.

Most women, if critiqued, will argue that this second kind of sexy is the only way to get a mans attention. (I always find it humorous when people argue my point for me.)

You see, the second kind of sexy may attract a mans attention, but that is all that it will attract. It will not attract his respect, admiration, or desire to please you. It will only attract a fleeting infatuation that will leave you in the same position that you began with.

It is acceptable to feel that you are sexy, and know that you are sexy, and even to act sexy. In simply depends on what kind of sexy.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Base Desire

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How can I get started?

I like posts that apply to both Dominant women and submissive men. This will be one of those posts.

I suppose this is actually a question and answer post; the question being simply “How do I get started?”

It’s the question so many people ask when they find out about FemDom, but it is also the question that is rarely answered. It seems really easy to get started. You know what you want and (hopefully) you have a basic idea of how the relationship will work when you find it, but you have no idea how to find it. And the advice that you are likely to find only works if you know someone who could set you up, or if you are willing to join the tiring community of BDSM events and dating sites.

What about the people who want an actual person whom they have other things in common with or who doesn’t live a thousand miles away? Is it possible to begin such a relationship with someone that you met in person? Someone without a profile you could read to find out all their desires?

I did not make this a Q and A post because I don’t have a definite answer to give. Of course it is possible to begin a FemDom relationship this way, but not if you are too afraid of rejection and failure that you would not try. Not if you present all of your deepest desires to your person of interest and become confused when they run away.

This is where the base desire comes in. I like to call it the base desire because it does not imply that you should discontinue your other desires; only that you should be able to identify the one that you could explain simply to someone with out scaring them.

I also like to call it the base desire because it implies a starting point that you should build off of in the relationship. Begin with something that you like (hosiery, feet, female confidence), share it with the person and then build off of it.

This way instead of being overwhelmed, they would feel like they were a part of the process. They would not feel like they are given too much to handle. They would feel connected to you in a way that would be different than their previous experiences.

Can you see how this works better than trying to completely confess in one conversation?

Can you see how this builds a stronger relationship?

And how I never said that you should give up?

–Miss Ari ^_^

Why the Hosiery?

Isn't it clear that I have expectations of you, My dear boy?

Isn’t it clear that I have expectations of you, My dear boy?

“What is the use for hosiery in the FemDom practice? There is nothing on the list of FemDom uses for pantyhose that cannot simply be done with a few purchases from a BDSM site. So why even own a pair?”

These are questions I’ve never been asked, but I’m sure someone has thought of. To many women, the answer is obvious, but for those of you whom are still perplexed, let me explain.

Something happens in the mind of a woman when she suits herself up from head to toe in leather; when she covers with skins that are not her own, when she goes through her toy box for whatever flogger will be her favorite for the evening. Something changes as she transforms herself into the image that she believes to be a dominant woman. Often times she may loose herself completely. She will become a personality that she will immediately toss aside as soon as she sheds herself of the leather corset. It is difficult to see the problem here at first, because there should be nothing wrong with being a dominant woman. She may be completely in control throughout the whole ‘scene’. She will break her slave an remind him to whom he belongs, but when this dominant woman sets down her whip, she has lost all of that. The activities that took place are now in the past and will not reoccur until the leather is back on her body. In essence, this woman is not dominant at all; she is just a really good actress. 

When female domination happens without these things present, then they are not associated with her dominance. Suddenly it was not the paddle in her hand that made her so intimidating; suddenly it was not the crotchless leather pants, or the whip, or the dildo that made her so dominant. It was just her. Every dominant woman needs to be reminded that the things that she thought were essential in order to be a good Domme, were not needed at all. All that was needed was her. 

So why the essential pantyhose, then?

Well, for one it is a confidence booster. But not in the same way as fetish wear is. Unless you are a dominatrix, you would not wear your fetish wear all day long. She would, however, wear hosiery to work or shopping or whatever else she enjoys. She did not have to change what she looks like in order to act like a dominant woman later on in the evening. She COULD have been dominant at any point in the day. She simply chose not to. 

Other than that, hosiery give the illusion of flawlessness. It shows femininity with any ensemble. It shows modesty (even if it is partly satirical). And it shows that she has class and is to be respected. 

If I had it my way, everyone would understand this. But since we all already have an agreement, I just thought I’d explain.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Ten FemDom Uses for Pantyhose

Would you like to know what the air hostesses like to do when we go on break?

Would you like to know what the air hostesses like to do when we go on break?

I am a big fan of reversible jackets and purses (so convenient) and I am an even bigger fan of hosiery items. As a result I have decided to come up with a list of FemDom activities that can be done with the most versatile clothing item; a pair of pantyhose.

One: Gag

Can you think of anything hotter than a  woman taking off the pantyhose that she is wearing and shoving them into her lovers mouth to keep him quiet? Especially when they smell and taste like her.

Two: Blindfold

This one’s pretty self explanatory. Though, they may not work as well  as a scarf since they are sheer.

Three: Bondage

Pantyhose may seem flimsy but they are actually really hard to get out of. If you tie them right, the harder you pull on them, the tighter they get because of how elastic they behave.

Four: Mask

Humiliation play seems to be quite popular. If you wanted you could pull a pair of pantyhose over his head. But if you’re like me, you wont be able to look at his face without giggling ^_^

Five: Sensation play

The smooth feel of nylon is a large part of the hosiery fetish. they feel nice when you wear them like gloves and touch his…

Six: Foot Worship

Nylon makes even the most normal feet look exquisite and exotic. Who wouldn’t want to worship that?

Seven: Tease

Our Saturday mornings are fun. On one hand, my entire lower body is covered in fabric as i lounge on the couch. You do not get the pleasure  of seeing me nude. But on the other hand, the fabric is delightfully sheer. You can see just enough to drive you mad with lust.

Eight: Denial

Thigh highs and unders mean sex. Pantyhose mean I just want to play. Don’t you just love my nylon fetish?

Nine: Cock ring

Or temporary chastity; it depends on how you restrict. This seems like it would work fine but i have yet to try it for myself so don’t quote me on that one.

Ten: Feminization

I read somewhere that men in the US wear pantyhose, though i have never met any. I suppose this could be incorporated into feminization, you know, make him look pretty like a good little girl.

P.S.

Eleven: Leash

Yes, I know that I said ten things but as I was writing, I thought of this and I couldn’t believe that I had forgotten one of my favorite FemDom activities. So I added it on 🙂

(Disclaimer: This post was written as a conversation topic only. I do not recommend that you so these activities unless you know what you are doing, as they can cause injuries if done improperly.)

–Miss Ari ^_^