I once spoke with a friend who wanted to know why I didn’t have the desire to submit in a relationship; After a brief explanation, the next request was ‘Tell me about your dominant side’.
The assumption here was that my dominance was a side, or an option, something that I needed to tap into whenever I had need of it. It never occurred to me that it could be a side. For me, It was never a side. It was my core, and it was hidden behind societal values until I realized that I could let it out. This is different than if it had been like a coin. I would be capable of flipping it from side to side whenever I felt like it, but one side of a coin can only consist of half the coin. The other half must always have its share.
The dominance coin may be useful to some women, who are uncomfortable with being dominant. With this concept, they are able to turn off their dominance and ‘fit in’ to the stencils that they have been raised with.
But I bet, the stencils bring pain, and I bet conformity is a miserable peace.
It is certainly something that I am no longer willing or able to do.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting that a dominant woman is totally dominant all the time. It is impossible. As a citizen of any country, a dominant woman abides by the laws, and perhaps even as a daughter, a dominant woman may behave less dominantly in the presence of her mother out of respect. A dominant woman will not resist submission in stewardship to what she holds valuable, But a dominant woman will NOT take a submissive role in order to gain friends or make those around her more comfortable.
So my dear friends, I can not tell you about my dominant side, because it is not a side. It is a life style, it is a personality, it is a thought frame. It doesn’t turn off, or go away. It is not curable or a result of a bad child hood.
It is natural and it is me. And I LOVE me!
–Miss Ari ^_^