The Hardest Part About This Blog

Class is not restricted by age.

Class is not restricted by age.

By far the pictures. I often find it difficult to find a picture depicting both elegance and female power. Most of the FemDom photos that can be found are vulgar to say the least. And a fair amount of picture of women in hosiery are of the same context. I need pictures that depict that hosiery is sexy, yes, but I also need pictures that do not make it seem sleazy.

This blog is restricted to the pictures of poise; of confident woman that know how to handle themselves in a manner that exceeds outsider opinions.

This is not something that I will settle on. I will not give in to something that is just okay. I will scavenge for the strong and accurate pictures. These days, we could use more determination in our lives even if we only start with something that may seem small.

I am not afraid to go first. I choose photos of the gentle prowess of the dominant woman and the men who love them.

–Miss Ari ^_^

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Why the Hosiery?

Isn't it clear that I have expectations of you, My dear boy?

Isn’t it clear that I have expectations of you, My dear boy?

“What is the use for hosiery in the FemDom practice? There is nothing on the list of FemDom uses for pantyhose that cannot simply be done with a few purchases from a BDSM site. So why even own a pair?”

These are questions I’ve never been asked, but I’m sure someone has thought of. To many women, the answer is obvious, but for those of you whom are still perplexed, let me explain.

Something happens in the mind of a woman when she suits herself up from head to toe in leather; when she covers with skins that are not her own, when she goes through her toy box for whatever flogger will be her favorite for the evening. Something changes as she transforms herself into the image that she believes to be a dominant woman. Often times she may loose herself completely. She will become a personality that she will immediately toss aside as soon as she sheds herself of the leather corset. It is difficult to see the problem here at first, because there should be nothing wrong with being a dominant woman. She may be completely in control throughout the whole ‘scene’. She will break her slave an remind him to whom he belongs, but when this dominant woman sets down her whip, she has lost all of that. The activities that took place are now in the past and will not reoccur until the leather is back on her body. In essence, this woman is not dominant at all; she is just a really good actress. 

When female domination happens without these things present, then they are not associated with her dominance. Suddenly it was not the paddle in her hand that made her so intimidating; suddenly it was not the crotchless leather pants, or the whip, or the dildo that made her so dominant. It was just her. Every dominant woman needs to be reminded that the things that she thought were essential in order to be a good Domme, were not needed at all. All that was needed was her. 

So why the essential pantyhose, then?

Well, for one it is a confidence booster. But not in the same way as fetish wear is. Unless you are a dominatrix, you would not wear your fetish wear all day long. She would, however, wear hosiery to work or shopping or whatever else she enjoys. She did not have to change what she looks like in order to act like a dominant woman later on in the evening. She COULD have been dominant at any point in the day. She simply chose not to. 

Other than that, hosiery give the illusion of flawlessness. It shows femininity with any ensemble. It shows modesty (even if it is partly satirical). And it shows that she has class and is to be respected. 

If I had it my way, everyone would understand this. But since we all already have an agreement, I just thought I’d explain.

–Miss Ari ^_^

A Man That Provides (A Poem)

tumblr_mhkc4j8x0s1rgsoq1o1_400I grew up with those girls in cherry red laces,
With snow white bows, and soft pretty faces,
And I’ll swear to you over and over again,
Than I can’t possibly be any different than them.

They desire a mate that’s strong not lame,
And to some extent, I swear I’m the same,
They prepare and train and work all their lives,
In order to gain a man that provides.

If I set my standards to a scale of ten,
Manners would appear again and again,
I would not stand for ill manner or rudeness, besides,
A girl only wishes her man would provide.

I’ve picked out his duties, his jobs and more,
I will need him able, to complete the chores,
He must be obedient and provide patient features,
And if he were docile, that wouldn’t hurt either.

For the best results, I guess I must lead,
But it will be quite easy indeed,
He’ll learn when to shut his mouth to survive,
I want nothing more than a man who provides.

So don’t you see? It’s not much that I ask.
I believe I’ve requested the simplest task,
These submissive men are in large supply,
It is easy to find man that provides.

–Miss Ari ^_^

 

This poem was inspired in part by my own experiences of hearing what was desired around me and thinking that I wanted the same thing. And of course, I could say that I want a man that provides just like the other women but, I never really did want what they want. My ideal man provided different things than theirs did. I think a lot of women are like this. They are holding back and trying to fit their wants and their needs into the empty spaces of societies puzzle, but sooner or later they will find that it doesn’t work.

And when that day comes, it will all make sense.

–Miss Ari ^_^

When You do Something Different…

tumblr_lvp9cchgoe1r0t12to1_500When you do something different, It effects more than just you.

When you do display feminine confidence, you are automatically an icon; a pure treasure.

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When you wear something different, you are setting an example. 

So whatever you wear, make sure that it looks good; but more importantly, make sure that you wear it confidently.

tumblr_lgbe8nqv3q1qzu70uo1_500

 

Don’t be embarrassed to carry yourself like this.

Be the feminine example that in needed in this world. 

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Don’t hesitate to demand this,

Be an educator to the onlookers.

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Don’t be afraid to desire this,

Challenge other men to experience submission for themselves.

To be different can be unnerving. You should expect the pressure.

Don’t be afraid to be different.

Just make sure you do it right.

–Miss Ari ^_^

 

Tell Me About Your Dominant Side

If I kept my dreams a secret, I would surely explode, for, my dreams are often larger than I can bare!

If I kept my dreams a secret, I would surely explode, for, my dreams are often larger than I can bare!

I once spoke with a friend who wanted to know why I didn’t have the desire to submit in a relationship; After a brief explanation, the next request was ‘Tell me about your dominant side’.

The assumption here was that my dominance was a side, or an option, something that I needed to tap into whenever I had need of it. It never occurred to me that it could be a side. For me, It was never a side. It was my core, and it was hidden behind societal values until I realized that I could let it out. This is different than if it had been like a coin. I would be capable of flipping it from side to side whenever I felt like it, but one side of a coin can only consist of half the coin. The other half must always have its share.

The dominance coin may be useful to some women, who are uncomfortable with being dominant. With this concept, they are able to turn off their dominance and ‘fit in’ to the stencils that they have been raised with. 

But I bet, the stencils bring pain, and I bet conformity is a miserable peace. 

It is certainly something that I am no longer willing or able to do.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting that a dominant woman is totally dominant all the time. It is impossible. As a citizen of any country, a dominant woman abides by the laws, and perhaps even as a daughter, a dominant woman may behave less dominantly in the presence of her mother out of respect. A dominant woman will not resist submission in stewardship to what she holds valuable, But a dominant woman will NOT take a submissive role in order to gain friends or make those around her more comfortable. 

So my dear friends, I can not tell you about my dominant side, because it is not a side. It is a life style, it is a personality, it is a thought frame. It doesn’t turn off, or go away. It is not curable or a result of a bad child hood.

It is natural and it is me. And I LOVE me!

–Miss Ari ^_^

What kind of Domme are you?

"Don't let my Kimono fool you. If you are going to hit on me, you must do it on your knees!"

“Don’t let my Kimono fool you. If you are going to hit on me, you must do it on your knees!”

Definitely a question that I wish people would ask more often. So many people are plagued with the idea that if you are a dominant woman, you must be wearing a leather corset under your blouse and carrying a whip in your purse.

I think perhaps it is that people are confusing these woman with a dominatrix. Just because I am sexually aggressive in bed does not mean that I wear these.

No way I am going to stand up in these.

No way I am going to stand up in these.

Yes, it is true that a huge element of FemDom is dressing the part, but everyone seems to think that there is only one way to do this. To quote a blog that I admire, “And I’ll play wearing fuzzy slippers if I damned well want to!”

I actually do not own a pair of fuzzy slippers, but you will get the idea. If I tell you that I am a domme, it is rude to assume that I dress and behave a certain way.

Malaysian FemDom attire looks like this.

flower shirt meichinmyblog

Its always beautiful, always sexy, and this particular outfit looks rather comfortable. Going by the way people think dominant women are supposed to dress, this woman is not supposed to be dominant.

But the truth is, there are many types of dommes. Some like business attire, some dress like geisha’s, some like to dress like biker girls, some like to dress like gothis ballerina’s, some like to dress like this…

Haha, i am just kidding... sort of ^o^

Haha, i am just kidding… sort of ^o^

And some just like to dress normal… go figure.

Just because I don’t wear leather pants during a ‘session’, doesn’t make me any less dominant than the next woman. And if I did decide to conform to what I think a dominant woman is supposed to wear, then it wouldn’t be called an alternative lifestyle, would it?

…Just a thought.

–Miss Ari ^_^

What am I supposed to be insecure about again?

"Don't forget your daily self criticism!"

“Don’t forget your daily self criticism!”

I think the media is doing this to me on purpose. How am I supposed to keep up with all of the aspects that I am supposed to be insecure about? Today it’s hair. Tomorrow it’s shoes. And the next day it’s the shape of my nose.

I can’t even get angry with people who tell me that I should put myself down because I don’t look a certain way. It is exhausting to play that game everyday and I haven’t played it in years. Every time I stand in the mirror I look at myself and I am glad that I do not look just like the girl on the tele. If I was her, I would have to act like she does and get treated like she does. As long as I am me, I am allowed to live by my own rules. I can wear what ever I think makes me look like I deserve respect.

I can dress like I belong in my world not yours. I can lounge around wearing nothing but pantyhose (something I do almost every day) even if there is no one there to see me<^_^>. And I don’t have to mind if you think that I am crazy, because I don’t play that game anymore. I don’t play by your rules.

Similarly, you do not have to play by my rules. You may do things that make me not want to respect you or that make me wish I could influence you in my direction. But at the end of it all, you are allowed to play by your own rules and I respect you for that. All I ask in return is that you respect me back.

–Miss Ari ^_^