There’s No Turning Back

 

I remember when I didn’t know what FemDom meant. I remember back when the worlds way was the only way, and I was content to being drastically different. 

I also remember when I found out that there was a name to my desires and when I found out that there were other people with the same desires. 

I am a very passionate person by nature and whenever I am passionate about something , it leaks out. It shows in my behavior, and my attitude, and in my speech. And if there is ever a chance of turning back for me, it is in this stage. When the passion begins to build within me. All I need to do is suppress it enough–push it way down, deep within me. I should swipe it out of my mind, cover it up with the norm, snuff the fire of my passion.

But that stage of my passion has passed two years ago.

There’s nothing I ca do now. There is no turning back and nothing to turn back to. There is no way to stop my desire.

And the best part is, I don’t want to.

–Miss Ari ^_^

Culture Blocks: Asian shy is not American shy

"Oh, Kinate, it makes me blush when your slave looks at me like that! Can I sit on his face?"

“Oh, Kinate, it makes me blush when your slave looks at me like that! Can I sit on his face?”

Asian stereotypes are funny; especially when they are so very wrong. The funniest stereotype that I have heard so far is that Asian women are submissive… What?

At first I assumed that this was simply a lie that got very far out of hand, but when you ask people their reason for this way of thinking, they will almost always explain something along the lines of Eastern Asian women are submissive because they have so many shy characteristics.

I was talking to a Caucasian friend of mine when I finally realized that this was simply a false correlation. Because in American culture, woman + shy = submissive.

In America, shy is “having or showing nervousness or timidity in the company of other people.” American shy is afraid to be in a leader position. American shy is docile and submissive to anyone who is more ‘outgoing’ than them. American shy is a bad thing, and there are even classes that you can take to get rid of shyness.

Asian shyness is not the same kind of shyness. We will use Japanese for an example of Asian shyness. In Japan, shy is not timid, shy is polite. Shy is being conservative in manner until you are more acquainted with the person. Shy is thinking about what you are going to say before you say it instead of rudely talking over other people in a conversation. Asian shy is not American shy.

A Japanese mans online dating profile may include that he is looking for a shy woman. He will say that shy women are more desirable because shy is a sign that the woman is very educated, sophisticated, and intelligent. This is not at all what an American man would mean if he said the same thing.

Now I am not saying that every Asian woman is not shy, because i do not now every Asian woman, but if i were doing the stereo typing, you would be surprised at what i would say.

First of all i would say that Asian women are dominant by tradition. I would proceed to explain a traditional set up of a Japanese marriage.

On the outside what you would see is that the man makes the most money in the household. But if you were ever able to see the inside of a Japanese marriage, you would see that the mans money goes into one bank account that the woman controls. The woman manages all of the finances and gives her husband an allowance to go out drinking with his friends after a hard day of work. The woman decides how the children are raised, where the children go to school and what they will study. The woman of the house control the household. It is humorously matriarchal in a country that is supposed to be a patriarchy.

Keep in mind that these women are all considered ‘shy’. It may resemble the type of shyness that we so despise here in America but it is not the same at all.

American shy is looked down upon and seen as submissive. Asian shy is classy and dominant.

–Miss Ari ^_^

What am I supposed to be insecure about again?

"Don't forget your daily self criticism!"

“Don’t forget your daily self criticism!”

I think the media is doing this to me on purpose. How am I supposed to keep up with all of the aspects that I am supposed to be insecure about? Today it’s hair. Tomorrow it’s shoes. And the next day it’s the shape of my nose.

I can’t even get angry with people who tell me that I should put myself down because I don’t look a certain way. It is exhausting to play that game everyday and I haven’t played it in years. Every time I stand in the mirror I look at myself and I am glad that I do not look just like the girl on the tele. If I was her, I would have to act like she does and get treated like she does. As long as I am me, I am allowed to live by my own rules. I can wear what ever I think makes me look like I deserve respect.

I can dress like I belong in my world not yours. I can lounge around wearing nothing but pantyhose (something I do almost every day) even if there is no one there to see me<^_^>. And I don’t have to mind if you think that I am crazy, because I don’t play that game anymore. I don’t play by your rules.

Similarly, you do not have to play by my rules. You may do things that make me not want to respect you or that make me wish I could influence you in my direction. But at the end of it all, you are allowed to play by your own rules and I respect you for that. All I ask in return is that you respect me back.

–Miss Ari ^_^

I am attracted to submissive men.

"You don't have to pretend anymore. You don't have to lie to me. And you shouldn't. it is insulting. I see you for who you are. And I love you for it."

“You don’t have to pretend anymore. You don’t have to lie to me. And you shouldn’t. it is insulting. I see you for who you are. And I love you for it.”

I will admit that female led relationships do not always work. And why is that? Because people do not understand that this is not just a pass time. It is not just a game that you get to play until you don’t want to anymore. A real dominant woman is attracted to submissive men.

To see the way he looks at her without attempt to hide his awe is attractive.

To know without a doubt that the trust that he puts in her is stronger that anything you will ever experience is attractive.

To see that he wants her but he also wants her happiness, and he will go against his own needs to fulfill hers, is attractive.

I don’t think that the power exchange that occurs in FemDom relationships is a sign of weakness or a fear that he will not be able to please her otherwise. I think it is a deep connection and understanding that a woman has of her man; and with this understanding, she can bring out parts of himself that he did not even know were there.

And who cares if other people don’t understand that? Who cares if I can’t talk to some of my friends about my relationships because it is that they won’t understand it and they will be frustrated, or think that I think I am better than them.

I am attracted to submissive men and I would not dare say that I am not just to have something ‘vanilla’ to talk about at the next dinner party. Would you?

–Miss Ari ^_^