Q & A: How Do I Punish Him When He Enjoys Spanking?

devse

No I don’t believe you have forgotten your place. You just need a reminder.

I can tell you right off the bat that so many women worry needlessly about this sort of thing.

The first thing we have to think about is that regardless of whether or not someone enjoys spanking, it is still corporal punishment. A spanking, to a submissive man that enjoys it, still serves the purpose of reinforcing the dynamic of the relationship. It helps the Dominant to feel dominant and it helps the submissive to feel submissive to the Dominant. Even if he were to beg you for it and thank you for it afterward, it still has aspects of humiliation to it.

A masochist still feels pain and through receiving pain form their Dominant, they can reenter a submissive mind frame. In this case, corporal punishment can still serve as a corrective tool for slipping behaviors.

But let’s back track for a moment, because not all submissive are like this. In fact, most men that enjoy spanking enjoy it in a sensual sense. It is a level where it is still painful but not to a level that they would deem “too painful”. If you are seeking to use spankings as a punishment for this type of man, you need only step it up a notch. And this can be in intensity or in the implement that you choose. For instance, a man may enjoy being paddled, but would try to avoid the strap or the PVC tube at all costs.

Only if your skepticism still stands at this point, would I suggest that you start getting creative. There are, of course, other ways to discipline your submissive man including giving him rigorous physical tasks, chores and errands, or humiliation methods such as the many variations of corner time.

All other complications aside, it does come down to how you feel about it. If you don’t like the idea of spanking him to a point where he sees it as punishment, then you should turn to other methods. With whatever method you choose, your confidence must not wane. If think it will be effective, then it will.

Thanks for the question

–Miss Ari ^_^

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Bring Me a Chair! (an erotic story)

chairThere was something about the way she said those words that made his heart, his head, and everything between his legs lurch with excitement. Their relationship was a pretty normal one. Miss made most of their decisions since they have been living together, but other than that they behaved just like any other couple. They laughed, they cried, the fought, they made love. But the four words that he practically lived to hear came only once in a while.

Miss had had a bad week. He could tell. He had tried to stay out of her way to avoid her temper until she calmed down but it seems that she would not be calming down by herself. Her lovely brown eyes scrunched slightly as she looked over at him. She had a towel wrapped around her body as she stepped out of the bathroom and she let it fall to the floor at her feet. Matt didn’t try to hide his lust as he looked over her supple frame. He was lost in the smooth brown of her skin that hugged every luscious curve of her body. Her hair was wet and it was curling up around her face. His breathing was heavy and he could feel his pale face flushing deep red. He wanted to go up to her and take her in his arms and kiss every inch of her body. He wanted to take her, but his body was not under his own power. It was under hers. And her gaze told him not to move.

So he stood there, waiting, hoping and wishing that she would say his favorite words. Those words that he loved to hear. His gaze lingered at her mouth, and for a minute, he thought he saw a smile.

Then she parted her sweet lips. “Bring me a chair”. He knew better than to hesitate. He went straight to the corner of their bed room where there sat a dark brown wood chair with a red velvet covered seat cushion. He careful lifted the chair and sat it next to where she stood.

His hands were almost shaking with nervousness. He never knew what to expect when she said those words. Images of what had occurred in the past in that chair were like a blur in his mind. He remembered kneeling in front if the chair pleasuring her, and he remembered Miss sitting in the chair as he lay over her lap receiving punishment. A lot of times, she had him stand behind the chair and bend over it. She seemed to like that position. But perhaps he liked it more.

He always felt ashamed of liking the things that happened in that position, but he had a feeling that she already knew that. He loved how well Miss could read him. And he loved that chair because it meant quality time with her. He loved those words. But he loved her next words even more.

“Strip and kneel!”…

–Miss Ari ^_^

 

For stories from my personal relationship, see my other blog.

Bad Advice Part 1: Corporal Punishment

"You've been such a good little submissive this past week. According to a blog I read, I am supposed to whip you anyway."

“You’ve been such a good little submissive this past week. According to a blog I read, I am supposed to whip you anyway.”

I like to think that it is alright to have a little bit of bad advice out there on the net; everyone likes to laugh. But, some things should not get by without being critiqued.

For this reason I have decided to start a series of posts that address the bad advice that I have found.

This week, I will be writing about some of the bad advice on corporal punishment.

First piece of bad advice: Punishment is essential in a FemDom relationship

Obviously it is a large part of this kind of life style, but I have heard so many people say that you can’t get by without it And I highly disagree. The entire basis of a FemDom relationship is that the woman makes decisions and if the woman does not feel like carrying out a scheduled lashing, then she should not have to feel pressured to do so.

2: It doesn’t work unless you…

I am sure you can think of a million ways to finish this sentence. Punishment doesn’t work unless you do it on a scheduled basis, unless you make him count the cane strokes, or unless you verbally abuse him while doing it. I’d just like to point out that ten paddles are ten paddles, whether your hands are tied behind your back or not.

3: You need the toys

Floggers, paddles, whips, canes, and riding crops are all fun to play with (if you are into it), but they are not necessary. Don’t let someone else’s ideas get into your head. If you think that the toys are unappealing, then you don’t have to use them.

4: It means you’re sadistic

There seems to be no middle ground on the internet. You are either a sweet innocent good girl, or an evil sadistic crime against nature. If you are sadistic, there is nothing wrong with that, provided you are with someone who enjoys your type of play. However, using the back of a hair brush on your lover, does not make you sadistic.

Contrary to what you will read in most BDSM stories, not every woman gets aroused during a punishment session, and not every woman needs to inflict pain in order to have a good time.

5: It means he is a masochist

I understand the reasoning for this one. Any man that would let a woman whip him has to be a masochist, right? Actually, it is not right. Men can get aroused simply by observing his woman’s arousal. If the woman is turned on, then sometimes so is he, and it has little to do with the physical pain. Or he may not like the punishment, but he loves the power that I have over him and he loves the fact that I was able to punish him if I wanted to. It’s not the pain that he loves, it was the passion.

I am sure there are many more myths and bad advice about punishment, but for now, I am done.

Feel free to make any bad advice post requests that you may have in the comments.

–Miss Ari ^_^