Spanking Therapy Interview

A while ago, I posted that I started offering Disciplinarian services in North Carolina and surrounding areas. A lot of you have been asking so many questions about why? and How? and What? You can read my FAQ section on my new website here.

If you want an in depth look into my Holistic Discipline methods, take a look at the interview I did over at SomeonesGonnaGetIt.WordPress.com

Here’s a quick preview…..

I went a little overboard, which you all know I do at times, and asked a ton of questions. Very compelling woman and interview. Hope you all enjoy Ms. Ari.

Hi Ari! You found a love of spanking at a very early age, didn’t you?

Yes, I sure did. But it was something that I did suppress for a long while.

Is it true your mom walked in on you spanking all of your dolls?

Yes, that is completely true!

 

She didn’t think it was odd?

I think she thought it was more entertaining/adorable than anything else.

 

I agree with her. Were you spanked growing up?

I did not grow up in a house hold of spankings or any other corporal punishment method.

 

Do you think kids should be?

When it comes to children, I think it depends on the child. Not every kid is at the same cognitive or emotional level and it can be damaging if they are physically punished and they can’t comprehend why. They could start to believe that bad things happen to them no matter what they do and develop a victim mentality. (I won’t go into too much detail, even though I definitely could, lol). I’m not saying it shouldn’t be used as a tool; but I am saying it should never be done out of anger or revenge, and it should only occur if the child has the personality where it would benefit them. Just pay close attention to how it affects them.

 

Did you play any spanking games with your friends?

Actually, yes. I used to playfully spank some of my college roommates.

 

I was thinking when you were younger, but that’s more thrilling. Do you remember the first time you gave someone a spanking?

The first person I gave a REAL discipline spanking to happens to be my husband when we first met.

Keep reading Here

 

 

–Miss Ari ^_^

Black and White ~ Ready

You knew I liked leather. Now, I think that’s what attracted you to me in the first place. You thought I wasn’t like the average woman and maybe, just maybe, I’d be open to those things you think about when you’re all alone at night.

Last month when you finally confessed all your dirty little secrets to me, I was a bit taken aback. But I meant it when I said I would think about it, and I have. Now I’ve been doing some internet research, and I’ve been finding out what all of your desires really entail. I’m not sure how many of them I’ll actually like. But I’m interested enough to give it all a try.

This collar is the first of many things I’ll be buying for our exploration. I’m ready. Are you?

tumblr_o77rwmpufq1v22br4o1_500

This is your last chance. If you’re really up to this, then crawl toward me and submit to my will. Go on and take a few minutes to decide. I don’t want you trying to change your mind later.

–Miss Ari ^_^

 

Is Consistency in Training a Good Thing? Q and A.

Pay very close attention my darling. You must remember the rules... just incase I forget :p

Pay very close attention my darling. You must remember the rules… just incase I forget :p

Consistency. Is it a got thing or a bad thing?
Well, it depends; not on the person or the relationship; but simply how you think of consistency.
To some people, consistency in a relationship means that the relationship stays the same. The couple engages in the same activities as they did before. In this sense, no it is not a good thing. It is a bad thing to make a relationship into a routine.

But…

If we think of consistency as allowing solid expectations for behavior and holding him accountable to them, then YES. Consistency is imperitive.

“But what about keeping him on his toes?” You may ask.

Keeping him on his toes means that at no point will she tolerate a period of downtime in which he is allowed to be overtly disobedient.

“So no down time then?”

Down time doesn’t mean disobedience. It is important to be able to share each others company in a relaxed environment among others, but it is even more important to stay comfortable in your roles.

To a certain degree, you cannot change your expectation of his role daily. You will make him confused. But one of the hardest things to remember is that you have to teach him to like more than just your persona if the relationship is going to last.

It feels good to be back in America. I think the hardest part will be getting started with the blog again. Any requests?

misshosieryfetish@yahoo.com

–MIss Ari ^_^

I’m Taking You With Me

Will you follow, or are you too afraid?

Will you follow, or are you too afraid?

You’ve made a terrible mistake, My darling.

For being so good at these things that I ask of you. For knowing me so well after only a few short months. It was a terribly wonderful mistake because now I’m taking taking you with me.

It is not a question, My dear man,

but if it were, I know your answer would be “Yes, Miss!”, so it is actually better for me to simply tell you that I am taking you with me.

I am going to so many wonderful places,

Some I may just visit and some I may stay a while, but each one will be grand. I am going to the end of the earth and (perhaps) back. And you don’t have to say anything, My sweet, for I know that you will follow me all the way. And that is why I’m taking you with me.

I am so happy to see how confused you are now.

We will count the days together until you finally see the glory of what I have allowed of you, treasured slave. What I have allowed now that I’m taking you with me.

Don’t worry about your inexperience, though. I already know of it and I am willing to teach you when I take you with me.

Don’t worry of the key to your new silver collar, My beloved. We will mot need it now that I have decided that I’m taking you with me.

Don’t worry of what others will think, My pet, none of their opinions will matter anymore when we get started.

And don’t worry that I will become bored of you, My pet.

I have bought fair for an endless journey seated left of my desires and right of my passions.

And aren’t you so glad that I’m taking you with me?

–Miss Ari ^_^

Domestic Domme

 

I'm in charge because i said so, Darling. Don't question me again, or I'll show you what this rolling pin is really for.

I’m in charge because i said so, Darling. Don’t question me again, or I’ll show you what this rolling pin is really for.


This post will be a continuation of something that I hadn’t intended to become a series. I wrote a post called What Kind if Domme are You, then i answered the question personally in another post called Romantic Domme.
But i guess it won’t end there because now i would like discuss a different kind of domme; the domestic domme.
I think this type of domme i way more common than any other type of domme. The domestic domme favors what the tittle entails; a relationship of female dominace that would require total servitude of the male, but on a private basis.
Now, the domestic Domme is no less strict that any other domme. And simply because the dominance takes place in the house hold, it does not mean that the male is free to missbehave when the couple is in public. In fact, a submissive of a domestic domme is likely to be more obediant in public situations, but the domestic domme will have luttle interest in public humiliation.
The aspect of a domestic domme is simply the privacy of the play. The dommestic domme will not flaunt her sexual dominance to anyone other than a few close friends. The domestic domme will not feel the need to take on multiple submissives or participate in cuckolding. These things are simply not nessesary in this particular life style.
With the domestic domme, dominance will take place in the house hold (or likely in a marriage) and the dominance will be present from the begining of the relationship.
In the life style of a domestic domme, dominance is not a fantasy or a game. Dominance is simply the choice that the woman has made, and if you dont like it, well… she doesn’t care what you think.
–Miss Ari ^_^

Bad Advice Part 1: Corporal Punishment

"You've been such a good little submissive this past week. According to a blog I read, I am supposed to whip you anyway."

“You’ve been such a good little submissive this past week. According to a blog I read, I am supposed to whip you anyway.”

I like to think that it is alright to have a little bit of bad advice out there on the net; everyone likes to laugh. But, some things should not get by without being critiqued.

For this reason I have decided to start a series of posts that address the bad advice that I have found.

This week, I will be writing about some of the bad advice on corporal punishment.

First piece of bad advice: Punishment is essential in a FemDom relationship

Obviously it is a large part of this kind of life style, but I have heard so many people say that you can’t get by without it And I highly disagree. The entire basis of a FemDom relationship is that the woman makes decisions and if the woman does not feel like carrying out a scheduled lashing, then she should not have to feel pressured to do so.

2: It doesn’t work unless you…

I am sure you can think of a million ways to finish this sentence. Punishment doesn’t work unless you do it on a scheduled basis, unless you make him count the cane strokes, or unless you verbally abuse him while doing it. I’d just like to point out that ten paddles are ten paddles, whether your hands are tied behind your back or not.

3: You need the toys

Floggers, paddles, whips, canes, and riding crops are all fun to play with (if you are into it), but they are not necessary. Don’t let someone else’s ideas get into your head. If you think that the toys are unappealing, then you don’t have to use them.

4: It means you’re sadistic

There seems to be no middle ground on the internet. You are either a sweet innocent good girl, or an evil sadistic crime against nature. If you are sadistic, there is nothing wrong with that, provided you are with someone who enjoys your type of play. However, using the back of a hair brush on your lover, does not make you sadistic.

Contrary to what you will read in most BDSM stories, not every woman gets aroused during a punishment session, and not every woman needs to inflict pain in order to have a good time.

5: It means he is a masochist

I understand the reasoning for this one. Any man that would let a woman whip him has to be a masochist, right? Actually, it is not right. Men can get aroused simply by observing his woman’s arousal. If the woman is turned on, then sometimes so is he, and it has little to do with the physical pain. Or he may not like the punishment, but he loves the power that I have over him and he loves the fact that I was able to punish him if I wanted to. It’s not the pain that he loves, it was the passion.

I am sure there are many more myths and bad advice about punishment, but for now, I am done.

Feel free to make any bad advice post requests that you may have in the comments.

–Miss Ari ^_^

 

Ten FemDom Uses for Pantyhose

Would you like to know what the air hostesses like to do when we go on break?

Would you like to know what the air hostesses like to do when we go on break?

I am a big fan of reversible jackets and purses (so convenient) and I am an even bigger fan of hosiery items. As a result I have decided to come up with a list of FemDom activities that can be done with the most versatile clothing item; a pair of pantyhose.

One: Gag

Can you think of anything hotter than a  woman taking off the pantyhose that she is wearing and shoving them into her lovers mouth to keep him quiet? Especially when they smell and taste like her.

Two: Blindfold

This one’s pretty self explanatory. Though, they may not work as well  as a scarf since they are sheer.

Three: Bondage

Pantyhose may seem flimsy but they are actually really hard to get out of. If you tie them right, the harder you pull on them, the tighter they get because of how elastic they behave.

Four: Mask

Humiliation play seems to be quite popular. If you wanted you could pull a pair of pantyhose over his head. But if you’re like me, you wont be able to look at his face without giggling ^_^

Five: Sensation play

The smooth feel of nylon is a large part of the hosiery fetish. they feel nice when you wear them like gloves and touch his…

Six: Foot Worship

Nylon makes even the most normal feet look exquisite and exotic. Who wouldn’t want to worship that?

Seven: Tease

Our Saturday mornings are fun. On one hand, my entire lower body is covered in fabric as i lounge on the couch. You do not get the pleasure  of seeing me nude. But on the other hand, the fabric is delightfully sheer. You can see just enough to drive you mad with lust.

Eight: Denial

Thigh highs and unders mean sex. Pantyhose mean I just want to play. Don’t you just love my nylon fetish?

Nine: Cock ring

Or temporary chastity; it depends on how you restrict. This seems like it would work fine but i have yet to try it for myself so don’t quote me on that one.

Ten: Feminization

I read somewhere that men in the US wear pantyhose, though i have never met any. I suppose this could be incorporated into feminization, you know, make him look pretty like a good little girl.

P.S.

Eleven: Leash

Yes, I know that I said ten things but as I was writing, I thought of this and I couldn’t believe that I had forgotten one of my favorite FemDom activities. So I added it on 🙂

(Disclaimer: This post was written as a conversation topic only. I do not recommend that you so these activities unless you know what you are doing, as they can cause injuries if done improperly.)

–Miss Ari ^_^

Can We Just Talk?

"Now that you are completely nude, you may come sit at my feet. But don't be nervous, Honey, we will only talk at first."

“Now that you are completely nude, you may come sit at my feet. But don’t be nervous, Honey, we will only talk at first.”

It is hard to find people that just like to talk. If you talk about sex to a parent, they begin to think that you are sexually active; If you talk about sex to a partner, they begin to think that you want to be sexually active; If you talk about sex to the person sitting next to you on the bullet train, they begin to think you have some form of mental disease and they run away screaming.

I guess it’s just another thing that I don’t understand. Why are people so self conscious about sexuality? Why can’t we just talk?

I think FemDom fixes this a little bit. I have no clue who decided that women were not supposed to think that they are sexy, but every woman in a female led relationship (that I’ve met) don’t think this way. Women are sensual creatures. They can be sexy, hypnotizing, enticing, and frightening all at the same time. And with FemDom, it is not taboo, it’s beautiful. It’s natural.

The first kind of training that I like to do is something I call honesty training. (More on that later :p). This is basically breaking down the barrier of conversation. I want to know all of his fantasies, his fears, all of his experiences, all of his hatreds, and his loves. I want to know so that he can witness me accepting him.

But even people who want to talk sometimes aren’t exactly the best conversationalists. Some of the dominant women that I talk to so deeply believe in their way of doing things that they won’t listen or even consider another’s opinion. it’s terrible thing. Because everyone has something worth listening to.

What if we spoke about our sexual preferences as if it was some other topic, such as the weather? What if we discussed bondage like it was one of Sigmund Freud’s theories? What if you walked into a bar and the men sitting on the stools were discussing their hosiery fetish? (I’m just a dreamer, I guess).

I haven’t found someone decent to talk to yet, but i’ll never stop looking for someone that will know what I mean when I ask, Can We Just Talk?

–Miss Ari ^_^